The Bird Still Sings

Perceptions

2012-02-02T11:00:00.000-08:00

$30 Hearts - Jerome, Arizona

Kaleidoscopes - Jerome, AZ

Sister Cities (?!) - Jerome, AZ

Meditating Cat - Jerome, AZ

No man has the right to dictate what other men should perceive, create or produce, but all should be encouraged to reveal themselves, their perceptions and emotions, and to build confidence in the creative spirit.
Ansel Adams

What does a Church do when no one attends services? This was the question my Mother-in-law and I discussed yesterday morning. We both determined that the concept of "church" is subjective, but that there are elements in every religion that are universal and embedded in human consciousness.

Prayer and human interaction are essential components in most spiritual endeavors. The right balance of these ingredients is critical and creates an expected outcome. For some, the expected outcome is clarity. For some, the expected outcome is repentance and forgiveness. For some, the expected outcome is inspiration and transcendence. Everyone who attends church or any spiritual gathering perceives that doing so will improve their lives by its structure and ritual, and its common purpose for good.

The feeling of a large group of people, focused on a positive thought is powerful. To me, the essence of "church" is this focus, this unity. It feels like the calm center in the middle of a storm: I know I'll have to step outside the center, but I gain strength within it to endure and find my way back. This feeling is real and, for most people, a necessary part of life. It fuels the creative spirit that allows our imaginations to conceive of a higher power for good.

Religions, churches, teachings, provide the opportunities to be exposed to the abstract idea of god, spirit, higher power, and are necessary and beneficial to society. However, I believe that each individual develops their own perceptions of god. Each of us decides how to focus on good in our lives and how to pursue goodness, even while participating in organized religion. Religions and any spirit centered gathering is challenged to attract and retain people in large enough groups to produce a common good while being self sustaining. Where religions go wrong is in their attempts to market god and godliness instead of having a clear purpose for that good which is inherently attractive.

The church we were talking about has an unclear and confusing purpose. It has more human interaction in the form of entertainment than it has prayer. The minister and her spiritual messages seem to support the music instead of having the music support the message. For me, five minutes of meditation, especially with others, is a more effective way to focus on a clear spiritual message and gain inner peace and strength. Someone else may need singing and dancing to focus. The tricky part is to find the balance that allows each of us to focus on our spiritual and creative needs and the needs of others within an effective structure. We are so lucky to have so many choices for good.

May all beings know love and peace and unity.

State of the Union

2012-01-25T21:28:00.000-08:00

"Every Day Is Exactly The Same"

- Nine Inch Nails

I believe I can see the future

Cause I repeat the same routine

I think I used to have a purpose

But then again

That might have been a dream

I think I used to have a voice

Now I never make a sound

I just do what I've been told

I really don't want them to come around

Oh, no

[Chorus:]

Every day is exactly the same

There is no love here and there is no pain

Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching

In case I lose myself again

Sometimes I think I'm happy here

Sometimes, yet I still pretend

I can't remember how this got started

But I can tell you exactly how it will end

[Chorus]

I'm writing on a little piece of paper

I'm hoping someday you might find

Well I'll hide it behind something

They won't look behind

I'm still inside here

A little bit comes bleeding through

I wish this could have been any other way

But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do

Several people have asked if I watched President Obama's State of the Union speech the other night, and I did not. I couldn't image that he would welcome standing before Congress and talking about accomplishments and goals. I almost reached for the remote, anyway, but then I recalled the shock of that Southern cracker, Joe Wilson, calling the President a liar, and I turned off the TV. I have worked hard to erase his feverish face and the frozen, ghoulish faces of his Republican confederates from my brain. Each of them are only a few centuries away from the "thumbs up and thumbs down" mentality of that Roman legend, Emperor Nero.

Fast forward to modern times, and some things never change. These super rich or wannabe super rich Republicans focus their icy stares on Obama, and every glare broadcasts their purpose. We get it. Republicans don't like half-black populist upstarts with Harvard degrees in charge of their country. They cannot tolerate any interaction with plebeian sympathizers, let alone with plebeians. So... the American citizenry must witness and wait while the Repubs in the Congress pound the President with blatant disrespect, illogical and ill timed obstacles, tantrums, and criminal stupidity.

They would throw a baby out with its bathwater if they thought it would stop Obama from moving his agenda (...hell, even their own agendas) forward, and since the Tea Party has taken over the leadership of the Republican party, more babies are having to survive without the basics of bathwater, food, and shelter. The latest US Census shows 1 in 2 people are poor or low-income, so it's not just babies that are suffering. Whole families are suffering the effects of foreclosures, layoffs, chronic unemployment, no medical care...poverty. Gingrich, Rector, and other infamous blowhards dispute these facts, pointing out that some of the low income/poor have cars, own homes, have TVs and micro waves - they should be taxed or required to do community service instead of offered tax payer assistance - the old, "I'm not my brother's keeper" - Oliver Twist solution, popular at the turn of the century.

The Republican majority in the House blames this increase in poverty on the failed policies of .... wait for it... Obama! And, what are these failed policies:
1) "His" bank bailout - H.R. 1424 signed into law by old GWB; I guess we can blame Obama for enforcing the law.
2) The Recovery Act appropriating 787 billion dollars to individuals and businesses funding tax breaks, federal loans, contracts and entitlements. I guess a failure to a Republican is putting over 400,000 people to work during a depression and keeping the doors open for thousands of businesses.
3) He "failed" to reduce the deficit in the midst of two wars and during the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression; Erm.... no one wants America to owe China as much money as it does right now - no one, including the Obama administration. When the GWB administration asked the Congress to appropriate billions to the Afghan and Iraq wars, everybody knew we'd suffer down the road. Dems and Repubs approved the debt for eight years. Now, the Repubs focus on this issue and have the balls to blame the Obama administration. It is not cool to back-stab a hemorrhaging victim, guys. Wait until only 1 in 3 Americans are poor before you get out the sharp knives and shred safety nets.
4) He "failed" to eliminate the EPA and most other regulatory agencies so that corporate job creators can once again have free reign to kill Lake Erie, create another Love Canal toxic dump, destroy the Gulf of Mexico with another massive oil spill from BP or Exon (take your pick). Keep the government out of corporate business but by gawd, the government must regulate everyone's sex and reproductive lives.
5) He succeeded in passing the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act - after many concessions to corporations that now bother Republicans?! Many of this Act's benefits are in progress and the bottom line financial impact is advantageous to business and to America's bottom line. Liberals will continue to push for a single payer program, so I'm not thrilled with this one either, but I'm mystified at the reaction of conservatives for two reasons. Their boy, GWB, did a fair bit of reforming the prescription benefits of Medicare and the mandate that all workers and businesses must have insurance is a boon to the insurance industry - erm, benefits business, right? Mystified that this issue is such a huge deal breaker - even more so than gay marriage and abortion? Wow!

The Republicans want to shrink government down to toll booths and military bases - any other service or program is anti-business, anti-free market, anti-Christian, anti-patriotic - in that order. Why they want us to go back to the turn of the century now is anybody's guess. My best guess is that the policies of the robber barons are the opposite of Obama's and for that reason alone, Republicans support them. Otherwise, why would anyone promote such an unhealthy and unsustainable vision of this nation. If one out of two Americans are low income to poor - does it make sense to increase these numbers by cutting lifelines and opportunities. The person next door sending out resumes, working two or three part time jobs, leaving the kids at home unsupervised while they work, is my neighbor and I'm no luckier or smarter. I'm a paycheck and one disaster from the street. The truism that there are no atheists in foxholes can also apply to political ideology. Even Ron Paul would be grateful to get a low interest federal loan after losing his house to a hurricane. I'd be willing to contribute my taxes to help him get back on his feet and contribute to society again. My assumption is that whomever I help through government programs is valuable and important whether he's rich or poor. A government or civil servant that believes otherwise and devises programs based on the assumption that those who need assistance are greedy, lazy, unproductive ciphers needs to find a cave in the backwoods, away from human contact.

So.... I watched the SOTU address on YouTube - it was a good speech.

May all beings know love, peace and prosperity.

White Winter Solstice

2011-12-18T17:22:00.000-08:00

Sun After the Snow - Cathedral Rock, Sedona, AZ

Tiny Solstice Witness

Nature's Soft Transition

Colors of Winter

"Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,

The flying cloud, the frosty light;
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring out the grief that saps the mind,
For those that here we see no more,
Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.

Ring out a slowly dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife;
Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.

Ring out the want, the care, the sin,
The faithless coldness of the times;
Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes,
But ring the fuller minstrel in."
- Alfred Lord Tennyson,
Ring Out, Wild Bells

Reservation Highway

2011-11-21T11:21:00.000-08:00

Reservation Highway - Indian Route 16

Old Oraibi, Arizona - Third Mesa

Prophesy Rock of Old Oraibi

"Long before Pahana, the white man,
ever set foot in the Americas,
long before the hegemony of the red race
had been challenged by light-skinned people
as the prophecies told us it would,
a spot in the immensity of the desert,
a center of Spiritual power,
was Hopi.
The land of the peaceful ones."

from Meditations with the Hopi, by Robert Boissiere

I recently visited Old Oraibi, Arizona, a settlement continuously inhabited since 1100 A.D. and in one of the most inhospitable places in America. It is the center of traditional Hopi culture, a culture of simplicity, balance, gratitude and hope. The Hopi are also very private people who value humility and ways in which one can survive in harmony with nature. Through the centuries they have followed their prophecies and survived.

Their communities are small and compact located on flat topped mountains and surrounded by the Navajo nation. The day I drove through, the sky was a brilliant blue until storm clouds moved through the area and then the Black Mesa transformed into a churning mass of slate clouds and vast, changing horizons.

Over my lifetime the Arizona skies and horizons have influenced me. Any space, uncluttered, filled with light and texture is comfortable and familiar. Any space which gives me perspective, that shows enduring beauty, exposes the patterns of time, and showcases the tenacity of human beings is a truthful place. I feel that truth on the Mesa.

May all beings know love and peace.

Mid Week Flower, Butterfly and Bird Show

2011-09-27T15:14:00.000-07:00

Buffalo Gourd, Crescent Moon Picnic Area, Sedona, AZ

Pipevine Swallowtail Butterfly, Chavez Ranch Road, Sedona, AZ

Rufous Hummingbird, Chavez Ranch Road, Sedona, AZ

Spur Genetian, West Fork, Oak Creek Canyon, AZ

Wild Geranium, West Fork, Oak Creek Canyon, AZ

Western Dayflower, Griffith Springs, Flagstaff, AZ

Thought for today....

It's Personal

2011-09-11T11:38:00.000-07:00

I was with my Dad when he made his last visit to the East Coast in late October, 2002. My father, brother, his wife and I, took a cruise from Montreal, Canada, through the St. Lawrence Seaway down the coast as the leaves were turning to red and gold. Our final destination was New York City.

It was on this trip that we all learned how fragile and ill my father was becoming. A brief walk from the ship to a dockside cafe in Quebec overstressed my father's damaged lungs and caused him to stay on board for the remainder of the trip. As the storm tossed ship moved past Halifax, Nova Scotia, the stress of a night of constant violent motion affected my Dad's breathing so that he required oxygen. Fortunately the ship had one machine available which made oxygen, so Dad did not have to leave the cruise. Unfortunately, the oxygen supply was not portable and Dad was tethered to a small cabin he shared with me - cramped quarters. To make matters even more difficult, his favorite television channels were unavailable and he had to settle for CNN which was saturating the airwaves with the gruesome carnage of the DC sniper. He was able to move around the ship in a wheel chair, and he spent a lot of time in the ship's Internet cafe, library, cafeteria and observation deck. He really did enjoy the trip, despite his health set backs.

Throughout the ten day cruise, Dad talked about his family and growing up in Buffalo, New York. In the late summers his dad would pack up the family and drive to Canada or the Adirondacks and they would camp. These memories were golden for Dad. He developed a love of nature through these experiences which fueled his love of travel throughout his life. Seeing huge forests transform from green to gold to red as we cruised down the coast was breathtaking. I felt blessed to share this beautiful experience with my family and was grateful to discover the source of my father's love affair with camping and nature.

We disembarked in New York City and had four or five hours to sight see. My brother had the foresight to rent a limousine so we could see the city in comfort and spare Dad the pain of walking. He didn't complain about his confinement to the car for the hour or so we spent exploring Battery Park, Ground Zero, Central Park and a few other places. For me, the visit to Ground Zero was overwhelming. The terror attacks were a vivid memory and I was curious about the extent of the physical damage. We started walking in Battery Park and I was comforted by the sight of so many mothers and children enjoying the sunny fall morning.

We reached Ground Zero right after the park. There were miles of fencing and construction barriers while huge cranes and bull dozers scraped away the debris and repaired the surrounding tall buildings. There was already a small crowd walking around the site. Everyone was quiet. Everyone was thoughtful. Everyone was stunned at the size and depth of the physical destruction. Everyone was silent as we viewed the photos of missing people.

I remember hearing the sounds of machines, the click of cameras, the sigh of wind through the fencing and a low murmur of voices invoking god. I felt proud of the citizens of New York City who were working, sweeping, paying bills, playing with their children in Battery Park. These strong and powerful people continue to live with their trauma and grief, not because of it. They are not fodder for our soul sucking media intent on selling as much ad space as possible by pushing the concept of New Yorkers as the world's eternal victims. Such focus works to diminish the strength it takes for all survivors of hate and war to live with pain in dignity. My family and I were thoughtful of the insanity of the attack only a year before our visit. We could not comprehend the hate behind the act then and I still do not understand it. I accept the fact that hate and terror exist, but I will never understand it.

The limo driver recognized Dad's restlessness once we returned to the car, and suggested lunch at the River Cafe in Brooklyn, the highlight of our brief visit. Once we all returned to Southern California and talked about our trip, it was clear that Ground Zero was the most moving sight. The most fascinating and empowering parts of our journey, were witnessing the miracle of the changing of the leaves, the beauty of nature, the power of the ocean, and the impact of people on the natural world. I learned about my father's childhood and his deep fascination and love of nature. I learned about the source of life which is evident in the laws of nature, a spirit of creation, survival and renewal which connects us all. I learned about myself.

May all beings know love and peace.

Who's Watching the Watchers

2011-09-04T09:03:00.000-07:00

"In a culture where shame is passé, we must ask often: Who is watching the watchers?" - Derek Lazzaro, Truthdig blogger

In his fine essay (link above), Lazzaro gives three examples where government oversight programs have gone off the rails. His first example describes the ATF's trafficking of over a thousand automatic weapons into Mexico; his second example describes the SEC's systematic destruction of evidence against banks; and the third example describes NCAA misdeeds. The people employed by taxpayers to enforce laws and oversee these critical areas of American life have not been held accountable. They have received little or no punishment and probably do not even realize that they have done anything wrong. They don't realize they are wrong because in more than one case, they have been rewarded with even more power. We have foxes guarding our henhouses.

So, instead of doing their jobs and making sure their programs serve American citizens, meet current law, and are effective, these people and those that support them, work to change the laws or make sure those enforcing the laws/rules/regulations are just as criminally inept and corrupt.

If you look to Congress for solutions, they come up with partisan oversight committees or obstructive and wasteful legislation such as the REINS Act (H.R. 10/S 299) - which would require each new government regulation be approved by both houses of Congress within 70 days, or the regulation would cease to exist.

In today's poltical environment, the government, it's laws and agencies are fodder for election speeches and political one-upsmanship, not subjects of serious concern and care. I am reminded of a marriage gone bad when I think of our political system. The "parents" will not reconcile, they try to inflict as much damage on each other as they can, and they ignore the suffering of their children. So, like neglected offspring, Americans get to stand by and watch their elected leaders bicker and manipulate while gunrunners, crooks and liars set fire to the house.

A wise man said recently that in the old days of American politics, politicians tried to at least cover up their disdain of America's middle and lower classes, but back then, they had a few morals and a healthy fear of getting caught. Now.... it's "no fear and no shame" politics. It's all about the Benjamins.

Hey Losers! I Don't Have to Play With You Anymore...

2011-08-02T10:32:00.000-07:00

House To Leave FAA in Limbo

“If things follow their current course, as I believe they will,” furloughed FAA workers “will go at least another month or more without pay,” Rockefeller said.

The West Virginia Democrat said House Transportation Committee Chairman John Mica, R-Fla., seemed willing to “shut down the FAA” over an "ideological issue," and called the dispute "a tragedy that never had to happen" that was ultimately about "bullying."

Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, said it was Democrats who were insisting on inserting pro-Labor “bullcrap” in the bill.

On April 3, the House passed H.R. 658, a bill which would fund the FAA over the next four years and included HR amendments making it more difficult for airline workers to unionize and stripping sixteen million dollars out of the appropriation for rural airline subsidies. Realizing that the new provisions would require Senate approval, the House passed a stop gap funding bill through July 22. Through conferences with House and Senate committee leaders, a unified bill should have been crafted for House and Senate approval by May 31. Nothing. Input, revisions, compromise requests from the democrats in the House and Senate were ignored. So, with the House in recess, the Senate is left holding this steaming bag of partisan poo.

I guess republicans really don't care about revenues when it comes to the deficit. They are taking a month long "recess" ( perfect word for the playground antics of the 112th Congress), and leaving millions in airline ticket taxes in limbo.

The House of Representatives is taking it's ball and going home. Fvck the thousands of federal employees who are working without paychecks and the citizens who must fly to and from American airports.

It may seem really clever, really funny, really genius to out maneuver those Senate democrats by bailing on reconciling this bill, but I think it's reckless one-ups-manship and those 4,000 plus workers, their families, friends and creditors will remember that the House of Representatives went on vacation without making sure they got paid. Update: Senate leader Reid has worked with La Hood and President Obama to craft a compromise that will pay salaries until September when the issue will come up again.

Dirty politics just got dirtier.

This Week's Featured Flowers

2011-07-26T10:04:00.000-07:00

Magenta Hedgehog Cactus Blossom

Penstemon "Firebird" Blossom

Indian Paintbrush Blossom

Mourning Cloak Butterfly on Geranium

The Flowers
by Robert Louis Stevenson

All the names I know from nurse:
Gardener's garters, Shepherd's purse,
Bachelor's buttons, Lady's smock,
And the Lady Hollyhock.

Fairy places, fairy things,
Fairy woods where the wild bee wings,
Tiny trees for tiny dames -
These must all be fairy names!

Tiny woods below whose boughs
Shady fairies weave a house;
Tiny treetops, rose or thyme,
Where the braver fairies climb!

Fair are grownup people's trees,
But the fairest woods are these;
Where, if I were not so tall,
I should live for good and all.

Deficit Reduction While America Burns

2011-07-18T15:15:00.000-07:00

I am hoping that the latest right wing insanity, the debt ceiling obsession, will go the way of Carmageddon - a fizzle not a firestorm!

The republicans voted to bail out the banks, they continue to fund two disastrous Middle Eastern wars and now a third, they voted tax decreases on high income earners, they voted to increase the size of the federal government by adding the bloated Homeland Security Department, hell, they even voted themselves a salary increase! And, the democrats voted for the same things.

The difference between the two is that republicans can't or won't remember their big part in creating the ever deeper deficit hole and now refuse to pay for the debts they incurred. In fact, they play the victim - amnesia victims, who have forgotten that they are the government they hate while collecting their paychecks. They aren't public servants trying to make a better government for suffering constituents. They're anti-government activists whose only tools are pitchforks and blow torches aimed at burning down the house.

These teapublican amnesia victims are dictating that the only solution to the debt crisis is the blow torch. They want to remove all other tools, especially credit, to dig our way out of this deficit ditch by holding America hostage with their useless haggling over the debt ceiling? They play partisan politics with my 92 year old mother-in-law's social security checks, and with the health of lower income workers through medicaid cuts. The Paul Ryan "Path to Prosperity" wants to roll back expenditures to 2001 levels without eliminating the Bush tax decreases which were to expire when the surplus was spent. Not only do they want draconian cuts in everything except the military, they want to replicate California's disastrous revenue straight jacket - the dreaded 2/3rds majority rule to pass a budget and raise revenue. The golden state finally had to eliminate this arm of its financial straight jacket, but continues to maintain the constitutional requirement of a balanced budget. So..., even though the California legislature passed a budget on time this year, it was not balanced and therefore not legal, so no paychecks legislators! California's budget delays and government shut downs have become an unfunny joke nationwide So..., why saddle the U.S. Constitution with requirements that are unworkable? Only someone familiar with Republican logic can explain this one.

Ahem.... not to digress further into republican fantasy, look at California now. Republican anti-tax crusaders have proven that cuts, caps and balances do not work in the real world. The people had to bring back ole Jerry Brown to salvage what's left of the state. I don't want the U.S. government to go down that path. As far as the debt ceiling is concerned - raise it or eliminate it.

One more time... three expensive wars, lower taxes on the rich, bank bailouts, ObamaCare, and unforeseen natural disasters require lots of government money. If republicans do not want to raise taxes, then the costs are deferred and money must be borrowed. If our AAA credit rating is destroyed, then it will cost more to borrow the needed funds, much more than can be gained by gutting social security, eliminating ObamaCare, halting all public works, etc. So, by playing around with America's ability to borrow, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) and his overlords make the deficit problem worse.

Good credit is a useful tool and a necessary one right now. We need to be able to borrow more to pay our bills and keep interest rates down - right now. That is separate from cutting costs and living within our means. America has turned the economy around before and will do it again, but not by taking a meat cleaver to granny and the grandkids she's supporting.

A man like Cantor who has the balls to say to Joplin, Missouri, that the U.S. government can't find the bucks to help them recover from devastating tornadoes because of deficit spending is a disgrace and an embarrassment to public servants everywhere. He doesn't serve the public, he serves his ideology and partisanship. He is a tool, but not one America should use to revive our ailing economy.

Into the Blue

2011-06-18T18:46:00.000-07:00

"Liam Devlin: [to the pilot] How do I jump out of this thing?
Pilot: Undo your safety belt. I turn the aircraft upside down, you drop out."
- from the movie The Eagle Has Landed.

Last Saturday, Jay and I took a helicopter ride over the canyons of Sedona and what a thrill! Because we wanted to take photos, we had unknowingly reserved a tiny copter with no doors, an ancient lap belt, and for that extra secure feeling, a tiny nylon strap just inside each door.

The initial terror of simply flying above all of this massive rock and forest was almost overwhelming. Then the pilot started explaining what each rock formation represented, which Indians lived where, how roads were carved out of rock, and various other facts about this region, and my pulse settled enough that I could take some photos and enjoy the amazing landscape.

If it wasn't so expensive, I'd do this every week. Wheeee!

A Day to Remember

2011-05-27T19:56:00.000-07:00

"..,Whatever its causes, the decline of violence has profound implications. It should force us to ask not just "Why is there war?" but also "Why is there peace?" Not just "What are we doing wrong?" but also "What have we been doing right?" Because we have been doing something right, and it sure would be good to find out what it is." - Steven Pinker - The Myth of Violence

As discouraged as we get in tough times, a generous dose of historical perspective shows us that human beings crave peace, recognize love, and struggle to make the world a better place.

Most civilized people will agree that war is insane. It is the last resort and a sad spiral into chaos. It is the break down of civility and reason. War is hell, and when we accept this notion, we must also accept that human beings have made progress from dumb acceptance of fists first to fists last. More freedom, fewer class distinctions, and less racial discrimination result in people looking for similarities more often than differences. Freedom from tyranny and brutal oppression result in less fear and more love. Despite the current collective unconsciousness telling us to think poverty, think lack, think conflict; the prevailing collective consciousness persists on thinking of ways to move forward peacefully, sharing, and caring for the planet and for each other.

It's good to know that over the past two thousand years or more, people have changed. We have evolved to accommodate a larger population. We recognize the value of cooperating and innovating to make better use of limited resources. We can and will do better.

Mid Week Wildflower Show

2011-05-18T09:42:00.000-07:00

"My god is nature." - Janice, a neighbor.

Get Your Hands Dirty

2011-05-10T08:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening, my friend and I began our "Pottery for Beginners" classes. I remember that in my twenties, I made fun of middle aged women who crafted, quilted, potted, found satisfaction in homely, hand made things. For a time, my Mom tried decoupage and water color painting, both of which she enjoyed and was good at. Even after her inspiring example, I still couldn't "find the time" to create something from scratch, to get my hands dirty, to learn a new skill.

Well, instead of making fun of someone, I'm now simply making fun. For those twenty-somethings, busy with work, romance, etc., I hope you will bypass the scoffing and find the fun and satisfaction of creating something from a blob of clay or paint, or fabric, or all of the above. Several women in the class not only work with clay, potting or sculpting, but also make jewelery, textiles, paintings, and other beautiful things. It seems that once a person catches the "get your hands dirty" bug, the sky is the limit.

My first few attempts at making a clay cylinder, simple as it sounds, were intense and rewarding. Our instructors, Dennis and Julie, made my stiff and pokey fingers work magic through patient explanation, example and encouragement. Maybe the real reward for making things is the addition of a whole new set of friends sharing similar interests and experiences.

Now, on to the glazing and firing!

People Are Beautiful

2011-05-06T08:29:00.000-07:00

- Youssou N'Dour Feat. Neneh Cherry—"7 Seconds"

I dreamt about Osama bin Laden last night. I can't recall the details of the dream, but I do remember the terror and sadness that pervaded the dream. When I started to wake up, in a twilight half-sleep, I heard a crash and the breaking of glass. The terror had followed me from my dream to my half reality.

My husband and I held each other, waiting for more noise and more information and I realized what happened. I had placed one of my fractal collage pictures on a shelf in the bathroom yesterday. It was a beautiful blue spiral fractal superimposed on a palm tree photo taken by my son and I loved it. I had leaned it against the wall and even then, I wondered if it might fall. Once I figured out what had happened, I calmed my husband and went to see the damage. The picture had fallen on the floor and in the fall, it broke a beautiful "sleeping cherub" snow globe that I cherished. Nothing else was harmed. The picture's glass was fine, but the fragile glass of the globe was shattered. Glittery water sparkled amongst the glass shards and wrecked porcelain. I cleaned it all up as quietly as I could while my husband and the rest of the family slept in peace. Things could go back to normal. The terror that my mind had manufactured and amplified receded like a dark tide. It was there, but not here.

What was that all about, I wondered. I seldom have vivid dreams and rarely do I remember nightmares. Then I remembered that I had read two things about Osama bin Laden last night before I went to bed.

One was the "clarification" of the Dali Lama's comments yesterday when he was asked about the killing of bin Laden and replied that, "Forgiveness doesn't mean forget what happened. ... If something is serious and it is necessary to take counter-measures, you have to take counter-measures."

The second commentary I read is by Chris Hedges, the author of one of my favorite books, "Losing Moses on the Freeway." His commentary is the most disturbing, because he cuts through the nationalistic fist pumping of the media and gives some perspective and scale to this killing. He articulates the relief I feel that this terrorist is gone, and also articulates the ambivalence I feel about the way he was destroyed.

These thoughts were percolating in my brain last night and I am still trying to sort out my feelings. I know that because of bin Laden, terrorism is now ingrained in American life. I know that America can and does do terrible things to good people because of this terrorism. I see tiny fissures in America's facade exposing powerful fault lines, ready to pull apart and separate us from each other with each terror quake. I know it is inevitable that a jolt of hate either from within the country or without it will cause shifts, changes, crashes, damage, the loss of something cherished in my lifetime. The glittering lifeblood of our democratic ideals is already leaking out of these fissures because terror is at our heart now, not courage. I am sad that we must grow up and live among people that do not value what we cherish. How do we do this?

Are we humble enough, clear headed enough, compassionate enough to see through burkas, head dresses, tank tops, gang signs, all of the different trappings of survival on this planet, to the people we must live with. Maybe, as we grow tired of the rhetoric of terror, we will clean up the damage and really look at what we have and realize we, the people, are responsible for the nature that nurtures. If we persist in demonizing and hating and separating ourselves we will perish. People are beautiful. We are connected and must find philosophies, ideologies, governments that support these connections. Dreams are strange and disturbing things.

May all beings know love and peace.

The Drama Kings

2011-05-05T18:10:00.000-07:00

"But, just as I told you before, the fool sees his neighbor's peccadillo and fails to see his own enormous crime." - Christine de Pizan, The Book of the City of Ladies

"Which would you rather be, a boy or a girl?" I asked my older brother.

"A boy, of course," he said.

"Why?"

"Girls bleed, they have babies which is really painful, and they're stupid and weak," he explained, exposing his twelve-year-old, second-hand-experiences, and hearsay wisdom

I was puzzled. What about the Virgin Mary? What about all of the women saints? What about our mother? What about the nuns and teachers at school? What about Mrs. Lawler, the cafeteria lady? I saw the faces of so many women who contributed good things to my world that my brother's comments seemed wrong and false. In his mind men were superior

As I grew older, I realized this male superiority complex is prevalent and my brother's complex was pretty tame compared to the right wing conservative men in today's U.S. House of Representatives. Men and women voters elected these men to represent, protect and serve their needs, not feed their egos, grandstand, and create needless drama.

What purpose does H.R. 3 and H. Res 237 serve but to broadcast to women that their role in life is to bleed, have babies, be stupid and weak. These men must protect the unborn from the culture of death inhabited by demented women, even and especially those women who will deceive the government by crying "rape." These men advocate a small, less intrusive government which allows gun owners, weapons manufacturers, job creators (aka corporations), bankers...you get the picture...less oversight and more privacy. But, women!!! Society must be protected from women who choose legal abortions. Why? (See brother's answer above.)

Women are made to bleed so they may reproduce. Women are made to suffer excruciating pain so they may keep the human race going. Before birth control, women were weakened and died from too many pregnancies. Before abortion was legalized, desperate women sought back alley abortions and often died from them to avoid unwanted pregnancies. Today, a woman's life is not all about preparing to be pregnant, being pregnant, giving birth, and preparing to be pregnant again. Today, women do not have to bleed, nor do they have to deliver babies. Thanks to Margaret Sanger and other feminist pioneers who were not only concerned with women's equality in the workplace, but more concerned with a women's right to be healthy.

Women have a right to be healthy. Giving birth is a personal health issue not a political football. My life is more important than that of a fetus. If my mental, physical or emotional health is endangered due to a pregnancy, I may choose to end the pregnancy. The reverse is also true. A woman may choose to go ahead with a pregnancy even if it kills her.

H.R. 3 intrudes into this difficult decision making process. It dismisses the health risks associated with pregnancy. It denigrates women who do not want to take the health risk because they are too young, victims of incest, poor, or incapable of caring for an infant. It is a steaming pile of legislative crap created by hysterical chest beaters who have no business representing serious men and women faced with feeding, clothing, housing, educating, and parenting children today.

I keep trying to think of a scenario similar to women's reproductive rights. Something that these chest beaters might grasp. All I can come up with is a man's choice to enlist and fight a war, or not enlist. Like child birth, there are good reasons to enlist. Like childbirth, there are serious health concerns, but the statistics are in favor of surviving the ordeal. Now, what if a group of women legislators, penalized men for not enlisting. What if this difficult decision making process was proscribed by law - IRS audits, no federal health care funding, private insurance company oversight, parental consent....yadda, yadda - how would men feel?

Then again, these people are pretty heartless. Look how they take care of the children already born in this country. The republican voting record when it comes to children's issues is terrible. Finding a beating heart among the drama kings is hard, but finding any productive reasoning, is almost impossible.

May all women know love and peace.

Rainbows on a Knife Edge

2011-04-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

Knife-Edge
by Emerson, Lake, Fraser, Janacek

Just a step cried the sad man
Take a look down at the madman
Theatre kings on silver wings
Fly beyond reason

From the flight of the seagull
Come the spread claws of the eagle
Only fear breaks the silence
As we all kneel pray for guidance

Tread the road cross the abyss
Take a look down at the madness
On the streets of the city
Only spectres still have pity

Patient queues for the gallows
Sing the praises of the hallowed
Our machines feed the furnace
If they take us they will burn us

Will you still know who you are
When you come to who you are

When the flames have their season
Will you hold to your reason
Loaded down with your talents
Can you still keep your balance

Can you live on a knife-edge?

Burn Down the Mission

2011-04-08T08:56:00.000-07:00

"Hurtful policies are enacted, not because of any logical benefit they might bring, but specifically because they hurt people the Republicans want to hurt." - Esquire magazine

Sometimes child play gets rough and the bigger kids, especially the ones in a bad mood or the ones who were routinely beaten, will hurt and dominate the smaller children. I remember being told to eat worms once or suffer a tortuous belly rub. The few seconds I was given to decide were desperate and fearful. Could I run away? What would happen if I scratched their eyes out or punched their faces in or ....?"

Finally, I realized I'd do anything but what they wanted because if I gave in at that moment and ate the worms, I'd be their target forever. I decided I would not be bullied. Their stupid cruelty and hate would not stop this time, so I took the belly rub.

Obama and the democrats need to take the belly rub.

The American people who elected a democratic majority need to take the belly rub and make no mistake it is painful right now. We need to be held down by the House of Representative Tea Party bullies and take the punishment right now. They want to shut down this government in the middle of its worst recession, when we are the smallest and weakest, so they can make us eat the worms of repression for years to come.

They are the worst bullies - uncaring of who they hurt or how they hurt us. They want power over us and they want us to eat the worms of poor air and water quality, polluted and blasted landscapes, sick old people, weak and stupid children, second class women and minorities - the dregs of American life. All this pain and suffering so the "big dogs" can maintain their tax breaks and preserve the enclaves of their "good life" untarnished by dissent and the human rights of the undeserving masses - erm, that's you and me.

They don't realize that these worms they force on us can't distinguish the powerful from the weak and that every grave has them.

P.S.: Looks like it's worms for breakfast.

MidWeek Flower Show

2011-04-06T09:17:00.001-07:00

Consumer Conflicts

2011-04-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

"But the truth is that we live in a society that’s complex, at best, and a cesspool of corruption at worst. It’s just about impossible to get through a day without compromise, and every time we compromise it’s difficult not to feel as though we’ve failed a little." - Samuel Smith from the article "Hard Times for the Pure of Heart"

We're on our way to Home Depot this morning. Lots of house repairs and upgrades needed and not a lot of choices when it comes to materials and supplies in this neck of the high desert. We have a good friend that makes it a practice to boycott places that are anti worker, careless about pollution, and do not meet minimum ethical standards. She avoids Walmart and Safeway, shopping at local owned stores or farmers markets. She gives a big thumbs up to Costco because they take care of their workers and have quality products, but does not buy salmon there because it is not "green." I am exhausted listening to her explain the ethical and ecological ins and outs of these places.

"Where do you get the time to continually research and monitor these consumer issues, " I asked one day.

"It only takes a few minutes on the internet. Just check out Scorecard to find out who the polluters are in our area and the Good Guide will help with groceries and stuff." she explained.

I try to spend my money where it does the most good, but like the article above explains, it's hard. I go for convenience sometimes and I feel like a hypocrite when I pass through the doors of Walmart or Target. I can't image not shopping at these places, either. Quite a conflict. The good news is that customers of these places can exert influence by letting them know we'd pay more if they pollute less and/or treat their workers better.

Meanwhile, where's the farmers market and how soon can I get there.

Lurid Fascination

2011-04-02T10:06:00.000-07:00

"If the evildoing of men moves you to indignation and overwhelming distress, even to a desire for vengeance on the evildoers, shun above all things that feeling." - Fyodor Dostoyevsky, "The Brothers Karamazov"

It is only human nature to be curious about horror. The paralysis that causes us to freeze and watch instead of move away from something awful fights with our genetic "fight or flight" impulse. There is that moment of watching we give ourselves to decide whether to fight or flee that causes so much mental anguish. We lose focus, clarity, the ability to control ourselves for that nanosecond before years of mental training, spiritual discipline, real thought take over and we decide to pollute our minds with horror or not.

This morning, I saw the headlines about the Florida "minister" who burned a holy book and the resulting beheading of innocent peacekeepers in Afghanistan. I made the mistake of looking at this horror show, a man with a flacid, bland face. I did not see an enlightened man at the height of his spiritual enlightenment, but a sad, fearful creature without spirit. How men a world away could consider this flyspeck as a threat against their beliefs is even more distressing and incomprehensible. Both Christian and Muslim religions have their zealots and bigots. Why should I see their useless faces? Why should I embed their hatred into my psyche? Why can't I shun their actions and their images. They add nothing to benefit me or the human race.

Perhaps I've grown complacent and lazy. It is time to work on my own thoughts, time to continue to tame the wild mind and find a way to be compassionate and detached without hiding from the challenges of a world approaching the edge - a world that I live in and can impact by shunning vengeance and hatred and the polluting images of those that promote chaos. If I can find the strength to take that decisive moment before fight or flight and use it to look within, I may be able to resist the lure of drama and high emotion that often suck me into a bad place.

Sometimes reading the news is like walking through a minefield, one must find a safe pathway around harmful sensationalism and ignorant "opinions" hiding among the real and important facts about today's world. I knew when I clicked on that man's image that I'd made a mistake. Maybe I'll learn from it.

Vast

2011-03-19T08:14:00.001-07:00

"I tried to run away but I was just swallowed by the tsunami" - tweet from Japanese interviewer

The Japanese earthquake and tsunami of March 11, 2011, is a disaster so huge, I cannot comprehend it. It is an event like this one that makes me say, "There but for the grace of God, go I." It could be anyone anywhere facing these monsters - I can only give to the Red Cross and pray. Both actions feel weak and ineffectual to me, but if others are like me, some help will find its way to the Japanese.

May all beings know love and peace.

A Dream

2011-03-18T05:59:00.001-07:00

"Whenever the pressure of our complex city life thins my blood and numbs my brain, I seek relief in the trail; and when I hear the coyote wailing to the yellow dawn, my cares fall from me - I am happy." Hamlin Garland

I hear the coyotes. They are not close this morning. Sometimes I hear them in the wash right next to our house, yipping and howling with joy over their latest kill. I must study the coyote and by knowing more about them, dispel the uneasy, fearful feelings I have when I hear them howl.

There are many things I feel fearful and anxious about these days, but the feelings are mild for a change. The feelings are not gutwrenching and corrosive as they were just six weeks ago when I lived in Los Angeles. It was thrilling to live so close to the edge or maybe I should say the edges: the San Andreas faultline, the Pacific shore, the second biggest city in the USA. It was thrilling and exhausting to walk the tightropes of jobs, family, friends, health, culture and self, trying to find balance and move forward at the same time. Many, many amazing people do this dance every day and find joy in "the kill", the accomplishments, the success. Many people struggle to survive and not get lost in the thrill. Los Angeles is a dreamworld of tricksters, prophets and drones. I'm beginning to see that everyplace has its Los Angeles dreamworld, but not everyplace is consumed by the fantasy.

Untethered and Alive

2011-03-06T10:45:00.000-08:00

“It's exhilarating to be alive in a time of awakening consciousness; it can also be confusing, disorienting, and painful.” - poet Adrienne Rich

It's been over a month since the move. Before, during and immediately after packing up and leaving our home of twenty-five years, I thought, or felt perhaps, that my early adult years as a road musician had prepared me for a big move. The belief that everything would make it from "point A" to "point B" with a minimum of mess was based on my memories of living out of suitcases and making funky living quarters livable. Recent memories of over a quarter of a century in one place didn't seem relevant last month, but these memories have become shiny lifelines to sanity, order and survival today.

Our old life in Los Angeles is like a solitary lighthouse on the brink of a dark sea. It is tangible proof of a familiar place and time, comforting as we sail into the dark and unfamiliar. The brightness is with us for a long time and helps us get our bearings and keep on course, but even after a short thirty or forty days, the light fades.

We've worked hard to create a good living space in the desert, away from the familiar sea. We were raised in this desert and I'm amazed at how quickly I feel good here. My family and friends make it a home. The stark beauty and little dangers make it interesting.

There may not be the fear of drive by shootings, earthquakes, wildfires, and other big city disasters, but there is an uphill battle to accept the coyotes, scorpions, spiders, and other comparatively benign wildlife here. Earlier last month, my heightened awareness of little dangers like stepping on creatures that sting, or power outages, or getting lost on a trail was strong. Now, it's fading and I am much more comfortable with the true quiet at night and the true blackness of night and a true connection with unfettered nature.

I feel untethered from the burden of big city cares and woes. I feel life and find that I don't think of death as much as I used to. Being alive is a full time job.

A Different Light

2011-03-04T09:05:00.001-08:00

Comfort and Joy

2010-11-29T16:37:00.001-08:00

"You are the sky. Everything else - it's just the weather." Pema Chodron

"The Holidays", specifically Thanksgiving and Christmas, are filled with emotional landmines. I will remember challenges met and missed at this time, made more difficult by the unreasonable expectations of warm, fuzzy familyness. These memories are like loose threads in an old sweater, better left alone but irresistible. A memory thread that I always pull at Christmas time is my mother's illness and death from cancer. She died on December 21, 1999, just before the dawn of the new millennium.

I cope with this memory differently each year. Last year, I was a social butterfly - filling time with social events and my own, small family entertainments. The anniversary of my mother's death passed me by in a whirl of cooking, babysitting, baking, travelling and shopping. When I finally slowed down and realized that this dreaded date came and went unnoticed, I felt a twinge of guilt and a lot of relief that I did not have to "dwell" or reflect on my mother's life and how much I miss her. I now realize that instead of relieving my pain and loss, bypassing and avoiding the memory of her passing only adds other negative emotions to the mix. This year is different.

In the book, "The Places That Scare You" written by the Buddhist nun, Pema Chodron, she explains that "..,flexibility and openness bring strength and that running from groundlessness weakens us and brings pain." She goes on to explain that being open requires us to find out about those tactics that cloak our fears. I avoid fear by locking onto externals such as compulsive overeating or excessive shopping. I avoid fear by immersing myself in solving the problems of "the world" and putting off dealing with sadness, loss, anxiety. I avoid fear by seeking only joyful, euphoric experiences and avoid the truth that life is hard and sometimes hurtful. There is relief in avoiding feeling sad about my mother's death. But, the relief is like walking alone in a dark alley without getting mugged or raped. I still have to walk through this alley again, and maybe next time, I'll suffer.

Chodron explains that one must examine each habitual tactic of avoidance, know it without attaching a goodness or badness to it, and by noticing what we think, feel and do, especially when fearful, we can allow the healing grace of openness to transform our crippling fears into courageous mindfulness. Maybe the next time I walk through the dark alley, I'll notice that there is light, there is a beginning and an end to it, and that I am connected to all creatures on this pathway. My irrational fears are still with me, but I am walking in the present, and noticing each moment as I experience it. I realize that noticing the present moment does not prevent unpleasant, uncomfortable things from happening. Being mindful of the now does allow me to be more creative, open and flexible in responding to others and finding the grace to survive.

So, on December 21, I will celebrate my mother's life and mourn her passing. No more running away. I will see her on the pathway and embrace her.

May all beings know comfort and joy!

Celebrating the Departed

2010-10-27T09:01:00.000-07:00

Death Disguised - Jerome, Arizona

" The Warning" - PCH, Ragged Point, California

"Dead Can Dance" - Jerome, Arizona

"Not Pretty Enough" - Jerome, Arizona

Well, it's time. I welcome this Halloween as a possible end to the year long Meg Whitman attack ads, and hope to welcome another era of California strangeness vis a vis Gov. Jerry Brown. I have learned this year that money talks. It talks non stop about stupid and boring issues. It hires loudmouths and liars who could be entertaining, at least, if they focused on cooking or fashion instead of government and finance.

The money complains about a broken country, state, city (fill in the blank) that taxes moneymakers. It bellows about how bad things are for the big moneymakers and completely drowns out the very real complaints and needs of most of us who are scraping by. The talking money heads on Fox News push Bushrepublican corporate values as if more tax breaks for the wealthy and fewer breaks for the blue collar and poor are the only paths for saving civilization. Their evangelical zeal in condemning the unbelievers, liberals, Muslims, "others" for the sake of preserving Christian values is a smokescreen.

The money talkers conveniently overlook the fact that Christ was once poor. Christ was once a criminal and got the death penalty for crimes against the state. Christ never married and He hung out with men. Christ loved little children. Christ knew the meaning of persecution, slander, and betrayal. Christ turned the other cheek and demonstrated courageous love. He taught us how to manifest God's love through compassion and tolerance.

Money talkers preach fear, mistrust, intolerance, claiming that such weakness is patriotic and necessary to America's survival. If they only listened to themselves, they'd realize that they sound like the Stalin communists they abhor. They want to isolate the intellectuals, the Obama supporters, the activists, the gays, the protesters, the feminists, the environmentalists, the anti corporateestablismentarians, anyone that does not agree with their paranoia. The money talkers want to talk us to death.

The midterm elections are predicted to show America that money brays the loudest and gets the vote. I am sad that Americans may be so easily distracted by rude, loud talk and that we may elect incompetent charlatans instead of pragmatic problem solvers, but November 2, 2010 will be a watershed election regardless of the outcome. If democratic incumbents win instead of the big spending, loud talking republican challengers, citizens send a clear message that billions spent on idiotic attack ads won't cut it. If the big spenders win - we are doomed to nastier and longer political campaigns, not to mention more idiots on the Congressional payroll stripping away safety nets, safeguards, and quality of life for average Americans.

Over the past ten months, I've changed my political issues priority list. The economy was number one on that list, but now it is campaign finance reform and after the horrendous Supreme Court ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, reform may be derailed by Fox, Carl Rove, and their corporate sponsors for years to come.

God help and bless America.

Rocky Road

2010-09-06T12:30:00.000-07:00

He travels 120 miles, roundtrip, for a job on the night shift. Fuel costs eat up $100 to $150 of his weekly paycheck and he gets no health benefits until he's worked over three months on the job. He says he's lucky to have something, after being unemployed for six months, but he feels as though he's going backwards.

Today is Labor Day in America. Past holidays included a day off, maybe a small luncheon, celebrations of union solidarity, families relaxing together and enjoying the fruits of hard labor. Today, most retail, industrial and contract workers are on the job, fretting about day care for their children, wondering if they can stretch their paychecks to cover gas and rent increases, hoping for a little relief from somewhere. It is an employers' market and the mantra of "bad economy" continues to keep paychecks down while middle class workers must work harder just to run in place, let alone get anywhere.

A recent article written by Robert B. Reich, a secretary of labor in the Clinton administration, shines a light on the dangers of the rich getting richer and the middle class getting poorer.

"This crisis began decades ago when a new wave of technology — things like satellite communications, container ships, computers and eventually the Internet — made it cheaper for American employers to use low-wage labor abroad or labor-replacing software here at home than to continue paying the typical worker a middle-class wage. Even though the American economy kept growing, hourly wages flattened. The median male worker earns less today, adjusted for inflation, than he did 30 years ago." - NY Times oped, September 2, 2010

This article and others shed a dimming light on the source of America's wealth - middle class consumers. Declining paychecks, declining quality of work, declining availability of time, means declining standard of living for everyone, including the wall street wealthy. There is a good reason why economic security tops the list of problems that Americans want solved pronto. Even concerns about national security take a back seat when parents must sweat paying for their children's back-to-school clothes.

Click the image to enlarge

Source: Fixr

Congress needs to celebrate the American worker by passing the Obama administration's proposed infrastructure public works bill and we need to support America's industries with our cash. For a few dollars more, we can get good, American made products (e.g., Merle Norman, Corelle, LL Bean, Burt's Bees, New Balance, Nordstrom's) and keep our local workers employed.

The Black and White of it All

2010-09-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

"I do not need to fear failure. I need, rather, the peace of mind that comes with taking the action I have been putting off." - "For Today" - page 168

Clarity is a state of mind that refreshes me. The struggle to "make sense" of an issue, to control a situation, to solve a problem is exhausting and often ridiculous. Silly games devised throughout my life to make me bigger, more powerful, more comfortable fall apart when the fear of failure dissipates. Like a wind-up doll, the spring inside, the agitation that moves the game forward, stops. Instead of turning my face away from the train wreck, I look at it. It really is a train wreck, not the fantasy of a bump in the road or Armageddon. It is what it is - clear, translucent, focused.

During my last visit to Sedona, I was packing and cleaning up the house so I could leave early the next morning. Part of my departure ritual is to empty all of the trash upstairs. I was checking on a bathroom trash can that I had not used during the visit and noticed it was empty except for something brown and moving in the bottom of the pristine, white plastic basket.

Even though my eyes are not that sharp anymore, I couldn't help but notice that the brown thing was a good sized tarantula.

"Eeeeep! Will it jump out? How the hell did it get in there in the first place? Does it have a family lurking nearby? Fricking hell! I've been practically sleeping on the floor in the bedroom right next door?"

My mind was a primordial soup of fear. Pictures of painful spider bites, childhood memories of tarantula migrations, and encounters in the dark with jumping tarantulas paralyzed me with dread as I back out slowly from the bathroom. I turned on all of the lights I could find while I put on my glasses. No spiders, except a dead garden spider in a corner of the living room. My heart was still racing and I was ready to run out the door, when clarity struck.

My ninety-two year old mother-in-law lives alone downstairs. She's enjoying the latest "America's Got Talent" extravaganza while I'm packing. She can't really help me and I don't want to scare her anyway. There is no one to help me with this situation, but me. I said the Serenity Prayer a few times, and found the courage to do something. At this point, once my fear took a break, I realized I had another trash basket the same size. Maybe I could put it inside Spidey's basket and smash him.

It worked. I was able to push the empty basket down and trap Spidey. At this point, I was having second thoughts about killing him and so I just scooped up both baskets and started down the stairs so I could toss them into the front yard to deal with in the morning. He'd either escape, be alive or dead and I hoped I would still have a clear mind at that time, too. During this epic struggle, my mother-in-law came up behind me and asked what was going on.

"I found a tarantula in the upstairs, hall bathroom, Betty," I gasped while struggling to open the door so I could toss the baskets outside. "He's trapped and maybe smashed inside of these two trash baskets. I'll deal with him before I go."

"I hope you didn't kill it," Betty said. "We'll see in the morning." We finished up and talked about the finalists in the talent show and I marvelled at Betty's lack of fear or drama. Just another day in the high desert.

The rest of the night was hellish - I slept with a flashlight, scanning the room for possible tarantula migrations, and in the morning I pulled apart the baskets and found Spidey shaken but alive and moving. I had forgotten how slow tarantulas are and as I watched him move toward the front door I scooped him up again and took him down the road to an empty field where he found some breakfast, I'm sure. As I walked back to the house, I realized that the terror of Spidey was gone and I felt happy that he was alive and hopefully well. I also felt good about how I handled the crisis. I had panicked briefly, which is progress for me, and used some prayer to focus and gain enough perspective to find a fairly creative and non toxic solution.

The time honored advice of "count to ten", "sleep on it", "let go and let god" works to remind me that clarity is important in life and although the mind is quick, our reflexes are quicker. It's easier to get mad, scared, unfocused, hateful than to delay the impulse or reaction. I feel grateful that through the various spiritual and self help programs I'm involved in, I have tools that I can rely on to "tame the wild mind" and find clarity.

May all beings know love and peace.

Little Country on the Prairie

2010-08-28T19:32:00.000-07:00

Antler Arch - Jackson, Wyoming

Tea & Top Hats - Thousand Oaks, California

Hot Air - Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming

Today's top news item is the Fox News sponsored American values rally at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. Apparently, right wing conservatives, tea partyers, anti abortionists, media pundits, politicians and others demonstrated that thousands can gather peacefully to promote old fashioned "American" values. Glenn Beck exhorted the masses to "turn back to God" and is now positioning himself as a leader of born again, Christian conservatives.

The words, "turn back", embody the retro focus of the rally. Only an American god can stiffen the spines of citizens so that they can turn away from a nation committed to the common good and turn back to robber barron days when gumption, boot straps, ambition and individualism moved the country forward on the coat tails of the nouveau riche. The tea party activists want politicians to promise to shrink a government currently employing seventeen percent of the current workforce, reduce taxes from relatively moderate levels, continue funding the military at the expense of social programs such as health care and social security, and return to turn-of-the-century days when every man depended on himself for survival.

My ninety-two year old mother-in-law remembers those days before women were allowed to vote, before the poor were given equal access to the voting booth, before "separate-but-equal was abolished for blacks. She was born one year after the ratification of the Sixteenth Amendment creating our modern tax system. Her parents had to deal with income taxes and probably wondered where the money went even then.

I've spent the past hour looking for a transcript of speeches at this event and during my search I read the tea party contract for America which holds republican candidates and politicians accountable to a set of values that are simplistic and contradictory (e.g., creating a "blue ribbon task force" to audit the federal government when the Office of Management and Budget does this already). The most puzzling agenda item on the list is "Item 4: Simplify the tax system..adopt a simple and fair single-rate tax system by scrapping the internal revenue code and replacing it with one that is no longer than 4,543 words– the length of the original Constitution."

There is no doubt that the current state of the tax code is dismal, but how does this item make things better?

I don't underestimate the depth of America's rage against the machine. If there is one common thread among all Americans it is mistrust of the government. During the 60s, hippies, disgusted with the Viet Nam war and the draft, turned away from the military industrial complex and turned back to simpler days, creating communes and self contained communities, many of which are no longer in existence. Fast forward to Bush I and II and disgust with outsourcing megacorporations and the S&L, banking bailouts, plus two Gulf Wars, Afghanistan, caused antiwar/anti government demonstrations on every street corner. Liberals railed against the takeover of America by the megacorporations and the weakening of consumer/environmental regulations.

The mistrust factor has been co opted by right wingers but this time the target is not megacorporations, reviled by liberals everywhere. The target is whatever restricts and harms megacorporations - primarily, vigilant government. Unemployed Joe-the-plumber, victim of union busting republican economic policies and outsourcing, is told that government regulation of energy companies have caused them to close plants and move elsewhere to compete globally. Meanwhile, CEO salaries, bonuses, perks just keep on sucking up a greater percentage of corporate profits. Somehow the teabaggers do not connect job losses/economic disaster to reckless and irresponsible corporate greed ala British Petroleum's Gulf Coast catastrophe. They want to make these vipers their friends and make officials elected by the majority of Americans their enemies. They are mad at a government that dares to allocate taxpayer funds to aggressive consumer protection rules, unemployment insurance, food stamps, medicaid for themselves and social security and medicare for their parents and grandparents. They are mad that the democrats have passed a jobs bill giving Joe a way to be independent and support his family without enlisting in the army and killing people for democracy.

So, as Joe, Sarah, Glen, Rush, Michele honor the US armed forces, a part of the federal government that sucks up 19% of the United States federal budgeted expenditures and 28% of estimated tax revenues, they might also take a moment to honor the government that employs the people that helped process the parade permit for today's rally.

The Bold and the Beautiful

2010-05-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

Shadows and Lilies

Rose Arbor

Pricklies and Poppies

Sometimes the prettiest flowers have the longest thorns. It may not sound romantic or even appealing, but roses have thorns, cactus blossoms mask spines of steel, and fragile water lilies float among spears of bull rushes and reeds. Maybe the thorns cause us to handle roses with the care they deserve. The spines and reeds screen the casual eye from getting closer and taking a good look at the harmonious details that beautify barren deserts and lush ponds. Flowers are food for some, and thorns deter the hungry predators from destroying not only beauty but life.

I've finished reading "Time and Chance," a historical novel by Sharon Kay Penman, about the early lives of King Henry II and his famous queen, Eleanor of Aquitaine. Both people were far ahead of their times, remarkable and fabulous characters. Henry was a courageous, intelligent king as well as a tireless and brilliant empire builder/warrior. Because of his brilliance, he seldom consulted with anyone about his decisions and some of them were disastrous. His catastrophic battle with St. Thomas Becket could have been avoided if he'd listened to his wife's warnings, but he ignored her and underestimated her. He saw only her beauty and did not acknowledge her thorns until he was wounded in his most vulnerable place, his heart.

The book presents the warrior king viewpoint of this dynastic marriage and his future plans for his sons, Hal, Richard, Geoffrey. His plans for his daughters were also dynastic and even though his queen conceived and birthed these children, he betrothed them as he saw fit and told Eleanor later, always assuming that she would agree and support him in his empire building plans. Henry II accomplished so much, so quickly, it was refreshing to hear the Queen's voice as a counter balance. Throughout the Becket controversy and despite his thoughtless plans for his children, she sheathed her claws, stiffened her spine and sought to view King Henry's ruthless ambitions as beneficial to her and her children. She was beautiful Eleanor, a royal brood mare and an able administrator and surrogate for his majesty, as needed.

All of that changed while she was pregnant with her eighth child, John. Her sister, Petronilla, told her about Rosamund Clifford, Henry's high born concubine, residing in one of Eleanor's favorite English castles, Woodstock. Although she was in France, at least eight months pregnant at the age of forty, and it was mid winter, she sailed across the English Channel and arrived at Woodstock in time to see the nineteen year old, Rosamund playing with a puppy in Eleanor's garden at Woodstock. She asked only one question, "How old are you." Received her answer, went to the next available castle, Oxford, and gave birth to John - almost dying in the process.

Henry's betrayal killed her love and her loyalty. She had trimmed her thorns, allowed another to love and be loved, and learned that women, especially married women, were powerless despite beauty, wealth and status. Her pride, the biggest and most deadly thorn, was mauled and because Henry never admitted his betrayal, the wound festered, becoming the scar that allowed her to join her sons in insurrection.

I'm just starting the second book in this series, "Devil's Brood." The actions of this amazing family are so far fetched and outrageous, I am still surprised that I'm reading accurate accounts of history. No soap opera or movie fantasy can match the beginnings of the House of Plantagenet.

Suddenly It's Warm Again

2010-05-06T20:19:00.000-07:00

I filled out a volunteer application for Descanso Gardens today. I can't think of a better place in which to work and enjoy nature. My fingers are crossed!

Points of View

2010-04-29T18:07:00.000-07:00

“If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.”
~ William Blake quotes from The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

Stepping Stones

2010-04-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

I watched the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie last night. It was "When Love is Not Enought - the Lois Wilson Story." This story was almost too painful to watch, so much so, that I was relieved when the commercials came on.

Lois Wilson is one of the most important founders of the Twelve Step movement. She focused on the damage to family and friends affected by the drinking of another person by simply modifying and applying the principles of the program to fit the obsessive, controlling and warped minds, bodies and spirits of those affected by the alcoholic. Her tenacity, kindness and common sense started the Alanon program, a companion to Alcoholic Anonymous that ensures healing and spiritual progress for everyone.

What was most striking about this story is the crushing reality that love does not conquer all and that addiction is not only devestating but also contagious. This program and it's companion piece, "Bill W," should be required watching for all families. These pioneers of the "self help" movement sacrificed their lives to pave the way for the rest of us. Through this brilliant program and by their actions, they showed us that redemption is not in being a missionary but in being of service with a hand out and a hand up when there is no where else to go.

It works if you work it.

As the World Turns

2010-04-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

"What does biodegradable mean, Mom? I was helping my mother do laundry one day when I was in grade school and noticed this word on a box of laundry detergent.

"It means that once the soap goes down the sink, it dissolves and does not gum up the septic tank or sewer system. It's better for the earth and water." She explained.

My parents seemed to be aware of the benefits of taking care of the environment many years ago, particularly when an item "gummed up" the pipes or septic tank and caused problems and expensive repairs. I would guess that my parent's generation were practical first and altruistic second. Times have not change.

Our family has a hybrid car, we use biodegradable soaps, compact fluorescent lights, and try to remember to turn off power/lights when not in use. I'd like to say my first motivation is to save the earth, but honesty compels me to admit that the cost of gasoline, heating and cooling our home, and minimizing repairs is what really drives our desire to look for eco friendly solutions. Using cold water to wash clothes saves money and uses less fuel. Using less water, saves money and protects our water supply. Using a hybrid car, while expensive initially, saves money in the long run and uses less fossil fuels - reducing air pollution. So these actions are not only altruistic but self serving, in a good way.

Years ago, sorting through household trash to find recycle items was a royal pain. Finding things that biodegrade or have a low carbon footprint used to be difficult at best. And, advertising promoted disposing of anything old whether it still worked or not. Times have changed, and we can all thank environmental activists for not giving up.

Most cities now provide easy ways to sort and recycle glass, metal, paper and some plastics. Reducing waste, Reusing and/or re purposing items, and recycling has become second nature to us. Our children do not even think twice about this concept. Many of them bring their own cups to Starbucks and swap books, magazines, software, almost anything through such organizations as Freecycle. I have gotten so used to bringing my own reusable bags shopping, that I feel weird when I leave home without my own bag(s).

There are many more things we can do to improve our environment and save ourselves money. I just googled "ecofriendly" and there are hundreds of ways to love our mother earth and ourselves - can't have one without the other!

May all beings know health and peace.

Cracked Pots

2010-04-15T11:29:00.000-07:00

"It is no accident that following the news has become our life. Advertisers, the media, movie producers, and politicians know that fear captivates an audience and motivates them to stay tuned, buy the product, vote for the politician who is pushing the greatest fears, and join the group that promises the most protection. Fear is addicting, and the policymakers of all organizations know it. The pushers of fear are selling a product, and we have bought it wholesale." - from the book, "Fearproof Your Life," by Joseph Bailey

Joe Bailey wrote a good book. I recommend it to anyone interested in identifying fears and finding the courage to face them. I believe that America is obsessed with hurt. Everything hurts us. Our waters, skies, air, food, mothers, fathers, children, pets, priests, thoughts, ad naseum are sources of dire pain. We not only fear death, we fear life as well. Fear thrills us. Defiance is our outlet, but most of us are defiance-voyeurs, not really wanting to "fight the dragon" ourselves. For those that fight dragons, I applaud their energy. There is a lot wrong in this world and sometimes one must fight to make corrections or create a better world.

When the teabaggers first entered the political fray, I was intrigued and interested in their "dragon slayer" ranting. What bigger dragon is there than a greed-based banking system. The bank bailouts instituted by Bush II and executed by former Goldman Sachs CEO Paulson, then Treasury Secretary, were so sickening and mind boggling that everyone looked at the baggers and said, "Hell Yeah!" Americans are fed up with the rich getting richer on the backs of the peasant/workers and the arrogance of the wall street banks with their private jets, multi million dollar CEO bonuses harken back to pre-French Revolutionary days when the clueless aristocracy suggested eating cake if bread is not available. All the tri cornered hats, costumes, catchy phrases made for good street theater. The only problem with these performances is that the teabagger movement does not offer any viable solutions or alternatives.

To make matters worse, around the time of the Obama election, the sore losers in the Republican Party infiltrated the movement with quitter Palin spearheading the takeover and presto-chango, every Republican hypocrite and their media mogul pimps jumped on the bandwagon. The teabaggers became a big tent for birthers, birchers and other mega-right-wingnuts, and anyone who doesn't like Obama. Repugnatan mouthpieces roused the rabble by lying about health care reform, by spouting half truths about the extent of our tax burden, and by needlessly fear mongering to get an extra buck, or extra vote . What do all of these players have in common - fear. Just like the televangelists they emulate, hell fire, brimstone, conspiracy, self hatred (erm, hatred period) is the foundation upon which the church-of-the- almighty-dollar-saves-your-ass is built.

They fear "big government" but only when it helps the "lower" classes, apparently. It was okay for GWB to create the third largest federal government department, Homeland Security, while pushing through two tax cuts for the richest in the land, and funding two costly, needless wars. Did the "baggies" do the math back then? Thimk peeple - two wars at a billion dollars a week, two tax cuts that ".., cover less than ten percent of their long term costs.." and increases in federal government spending on "security" = Deficits. Oh, and before good ol GWB left office, he left a fiery pile of financial poo on Obama's doorstep - the collapse of the financial system and resulting bail out. Like father like son - two financial industry bail outs at taxpayer expense in one family - must be genetic. The baggers don't demonize Bush I and II - just Obama.

The cause of this economic disaster is the 1999 passage of the Gramm-Leach-Billey Act .

This legislation ".., repealed part of the Glass-Steagall Act of 1933, opening up the market among banking companies, securities companies and insurance companies. The Glass-Steagall Act prohibited any one institution from acting as any combination of an investment bank, a commercial bank, and an insurance company." (thanks Wikipedia)

You know what? Most mature people in this country took a look at the brink of disaster, saw that there were two choices: 1) do nothing and let the banks fail ala the Great Depression; or 2) bail their asses out and repair the shredded safety net. Anyone that thinks this mess could and would be cleaned up without an even messier solution has lost touch with the concept of "consequences." You elect a Bush, just like the last Bush, bought and paid for by corporate lobbyists and you get screwed. So, baggers, man up and suck it up. If you think Obama, Democrats, unwed mothers, abortion providers, immigrants, peaceniks, public option sympathizers are out to get you, then you have more to fear than fear itself. Remember, insanity is doing the same thing over again, expecting a different result. Allowing your repugnatan corporate sponsors to obstruct, water down, gut legislation to reform and regulate these wall street aristocrats and their shady network of bad loans and bad investments is propagating insanity: your teapots are cracked and don't hold water .

Update: 4/29/10 - Elizabeth Warren: GOP Reform Plan is a Failure, Republicans Choosing Banks Over Families

"Lonesome Rhodes: This whole country's just like my flock of sheep!
Marcia Jeffries: Sheep?
Lonesome Rhodes: Rednecks, crackers, hillbillies, hausfraus, shut-ins, pea-pickers - everybody that's got to jump when somebody else blows the whistle. They don't know it yet, but they're all gonna be 'Fighters for Fuller'. They're mine! I own 'em! They think like I do. Only they're even more stupid than I am, so I gotta think for 'em. Marcia, you just wait and see. I'm gonna be the power behind the president - and you'll be the power behind me!"

- from the 1957 movie, "A Face in the Crowd"

Right in our Own Back Yard

2010-04-06T15:47:00.000-07:00

"Too bad we have to kill it. A black widow is the best insecticide there is," said my brother.

We were getting ready for a backyard BBQ and fortunately decided to clean the plastic chairs and tables. The dark corners hid a couple of black widow spiders and my first thought was for the little ones who would be roaming our unmanicured back yard.

We keep the grass/weeds mowed, the vines trimmed, and that's about it. Through our "green neglect" (i.e., water saving) we've let the yard revert back to a semi natural state. The ivy fence, and our proximity to an undeveloped hillside attract all kinds of birds and animals, year round.

Right now, we're hosting a mother skunk and her four babies. These babies grow fast and are almost as big as she is after just a couple of weeks. We checked with animal control and they told us that skunks were beneficial animals, not easily provoked, and they'd leave in a month or less with their offspring. They asked us to be tolerant and patient rather than trapping them at this most vulnerable time. Apparently, coyotes will eat the young - I should have guessed since they eat almost anything.

So... We're enjoying the daylight hours in the yard and at night, make way for our skunk friends.

Blue View

2010-04-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

"Blue is an ideal color for places of healing, since it encourages relaxation and tranquility. It is a good color for contemplation and is very conducive to meditation, inspiring patience and calm thought. Blue makes you aware of the need for rest and allows you to make space in your life. It denotes a desire for peace and order and is the color of the present time -- the Age of Aquarius." - from the article, "Color for Healing" by Romy Rawlings

"What's your favorite color?" Ann asked.

"Green, I guess." I answered.

It was the middle of a hot, Arizona summer and despite the sprinklers and irrigation, almost everything was brown or a lighter version of brown. Green seemed juicy, moist, refreshing and something almost unattainable in this arid landscape. I was very young and looking forward to leaving Phoenix for some part of the summer. Taking a trip to somewhere greener had become a family ritual and a welcome relief.

For my first eight years, the family trips were back to southwestern New York - a lush, rainy, tree filled space by a lake which accounted for my love of the color green. Every shade of green, from vivid lime to dark green-black was represented in this summer landscape. Rain and more rain made it cool and green and, after a time, claustrophobic. I was used to the desert where I'd watch the sunrise in a bright technicolor sky and hoses controlled the flow of water.

We stopped our summer migrations to New York and began going to Balboa Beach, California, where the blue sky meets the blue ocean and everything is spacious, cool and dry - the best of all worlds. It was here that I realized my favorite color is blue.

Now that I think about it, I suppose a balanced combination of blue/green is my all time favorite. This dark aqua helps me envision the breathing spirit of renewal and balance - something bright and calm, peaceful and energizing.

May all beings know the healing energy of blue.

Mental Meanderings

2010-03-04T15:25:00.000-08:00

Today is a beautiful day. The clouds in the LA basin are fantastic, huge, billowing masses of freshness with lots of white fluffiness. I remember spending childhood hours daydreaming and watching these kinds of clouds on Chautauqua Lake in southwestern New York state.

One strange but memorable day, I lay on my back with my little brothers and a ward of my grandmother named, Larry. It was summertime and the lake was choked with sea weeds so we couldn't swim. We had a television, but no reception. My older brothers had a boat, but we were too young to take it out by ourselves. It seemed that there was no where to go and nothing to do, so we looked at bugs and finally looked at the sky.

For a short time, we rose above the earth and floated on big, puffy ships, or rode rapidly disintegrating dragons, or found friendly angels flitting from one small cloud to another. I felt very close to the boys. We all shared a transcendent hour or so before flopping back to earth and giving in to our hunger pangs, itches and crankiness.

Clouds and lakes bring that magic back and I feel closeness, even when I'm alone.

Stick Your Neck Out...

2010-02-28T09:46:00.000-08:00

Turtle in the Sun - Brand Park - Glendale, California

Dolphin Dancers - Sea World, San Diego, California

Palm Springs Brachiosaurus - Palm Springs, California

Asking for It - Elephant Seal Preserve, Ragged Point, California

"Be Willing to Stick Your Neck Out — put yourself out there and find the support to make sure you follow through." - Sticking Your Neck Out: Discover the Top 7 Ways to Reach Your Peak Performance by Nikki Stone

She is pretty, ageless and well put together. I met her recently and liked her positive and friendly conversation - welcoming without being pushy. I looked forward to her talk and joined with the other group members in welcoming her and got comfortable while she introduced herself and started talking. Soon, I learned more about her.

She is agoraphobic, a survivor of eleven years of marriage to a violent alcoholic. She is recovering from addiction to prescription medications and is a compulsive overeater. Her history is grim and hard to listen to. Many of her revelations resonate with me and my own history and as I look around the group of women and a few men, I notice the body language and facial expressions of recognition. Many, if not all of us, have similar histories, minus or plus a few challenges.

None of us indulge in words or gestures of sympathy because we know that such distractions dilute her story and weaken her message. She has the courage to share her experience, strength and hope with us. She sticks her neck out and tells the truth to virtual strangers because she has faith that the group will offer unconditional love and support which helps her. In turn, her story helps us because we see that her healing is progressing as she speaks. Her bravery gives us the confidence to trust and share our own stories, allowing the fresh air and sunlight of the group dynamic and god to help us heal and grow stronger.

Bless those that stick their necks out as they move forward. They are an example to us all.

TGIF

2010-02-26T19:05:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the clouds seem so close you can reach up and touch them. Those are times when breathing deeply is effortless.

I don't know about anyone else, but it's time for a break and a wet weekend seems perfect right now. I'm breakin out the blankets and stocking up on DVDs. Warm, cozy, burrow, chill - good words to contemplate.

May all beings know comfort and peace.

Self Will Run Riot

2010-02-22T11:44:00.000-08:00

Beyond Hope - Hope, Arizona

Walking the Talk - Sedona, Arizona

Power of Connection - Granada Hills, CA

"My experience has been that when I am unwilling to ask for help, and I insist that I can do it all myself, I'm just a drunk talking to a crazy person." - Anonymous

Hopelessness is a very sad thing. I deal with this beast every now and then, especially when I turn my troubles over to myself instead of turning myself, and especially my self will, over to god. It is one thing to intellectualize a conscious connection to god and even see it in my mind's eye. It is another thing to take the actions needed to follow through, to act, to be connected to a power greater than myself whether it be god or another person or a group of people.

The "other thing" needed besides intellect is will or willingness. I have plenty of self will, lots of self sufficiency, a real need for privacy, and all the pride of a marine corp battalion. I'm willing too. Willing to suffer the loneliness, isolation, stagnation, slings and arrows of self will, but unwilling to take the simple actions required to connect with the power of god or another person and find the strength to be free. Two can carry the burden easier and better than one and I know the other person has her hand out, waiting for me to stop being ashamed, afraid, resistant, and crazy. I know this. I am willing and I need to learn to make the connection, plug into the power, turn on the "make it work" switch and become part of the solution.

"If faith without works is dead, willingness without action is fantasy."
- Anonymous (a very wise person)

Full Bloom

2010-02-17T10:46:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day on Malibu Pier - February 14, 2010

Leisure Stroll - Malibu Pier, California

A Pink Steel Sundown - Malibu, California

A Gift of Love

Song of The Flower

- Khalil Gibran

I am a kind word uttered and repeated

By the voice of Nature;

I am a star fallen from the

Blue tent upon the green carpet. I am the daughter of the elements

With whom Winter conceived; To whom Spring gave birth; I was

Reared in the lap of Summer and I

Slept in the bed of Autumn.

At dawn I unite with the breeze

To announce the coming of light;

At eventide I join the birds

In bidding the light farewell.

The plains are decorated with

My beautiful colors, and the air

Is scented with my fragrance.

As I embrace Slumber the eyes of

Night watch over me, and as I

Awaken I stare at the sun, which is

The only eye of the day.

I drink dew for wine, and hearken to

The voices of the birds, and dance

To the rhythmic swaying of the grass.

I am the lover's gift; I am the wedding wreath;

I am the memory of a moment of happiness;

I am the last gift of the living to the dead;

I am a part of joy and a part of sorrow.

But I look up high to see only the light,

And never look down to see my shadow.

This is wisdom which man must learn.

Whole Lot to Love

2010-02-12T18:27:00.001-08:00

Valentine Day Camelia - Descanso Gardens, La Canada, California

Camelia Backlight - Descanso Gardens

Gotta Love the Bees - Descanso Gardens

Prickly Heart - Descanso Gardens

Heart Scar - Descanso Gardens

Winter View - Descanso Gardens

“The mountains, rivers, earth, grasses, trees, and forests are always emanating a subtle, precious light, day and night, always emanating a subtle, precious sound, demonstrating and expounding to all people the unsurpassed ultimate truth.” - Anonymous

Valentine's day is fun to celebrate for two reasons: a day to be a sappy romantic, and a day to consciously connect to the ultimate truth that love is all there is.

I propose that every day is a great time to make a love connection. Nature is always willing and so are a lot of humans. Let's get busy.

Going Up or Down?

2010-02-03T10:52:00.000-08:00

".., more than 30 percent of all cancer cases can be avoided through simple measures, including non-tobacco use, exercise and healthy diet, limiting alcohol consumption, and protection against cancer-causing infections." - Dr. Shin Young-soo, WHO regional director for the Western Pacific

There is something off, not right, abnormal within me that persists in denying the entire truth of the statement above. I feel good about myself because I no longer smoke, or use alcohol or drugs of any kind. I feel bad about myself because I still choose to overeat and under exercise. I know that I'm not ignorant about the health benefits of eating good food and working out. In fact, I probably know more about these things than most people. Still, I resist and hang on to the erroneous idea that I am in control of these vital issues when I'm not. My last physical exam showed me that I am out of control and just on the border of needing medication in the areas of cholesterol and glucose. The writing is on the charts. I must choose a healthier diet and exercise.

Simple things for most people, but incomprehensible problems for me. Why won't I choose to do the work I need to do to be healthy? Why have I given up on so many diets and gyms? Have I finally found a program that addresses these questions and will I stick with it?

Just for today, I choose to do the work to be healthy. Just for today, I will use the program tools and escape from obsession and uncontrollable compulsions. I'm doing it now. Why? Because life is a miracle, a gift to cherish, and my family and friends need me to be active and happy in their lives. Life is good.

May all beings know love and peace.

Keepin it Fresh

2010-01-25T10:17:00.001-08:00

"If your garbage cans get knocked over and it rains, all of that trash is going to go down into the curb, into the gutter, into a storm drain, which goes into a riverbed that flows all the way out into the ocean. If you come to a beach cleanup you'll see it and want to use less Styrofoam and less plastic." - Kim Masoner of Save Our Beach

Last week's massive storms dumped huge piles of garbage on Southern California beaches, but Masoner notes that the garbage contains less plastic and styrofoam which cause great harm to fish and other ocean wildlife. Apparently, recycling programs work on several levels, among them are less waste in landfills and less waste in the oceans.

This is encouraging and reassuring news. It shows that each person can and does make a difference in our world. I am so happy that buying less plastic, bringing my own cup/bag/container to stores and restaurants is worth the effort. The habit of recycling and conserving does take effort and the most effective effort for me was to change my thinking.

Once I started to think of my yard as an extension of my living room, and my sidewalk as an extension of my yard, and the roadways and public spaces as just another hallway and room in my house; I found it easier to be less wasteful and thoughtless. It feels good to keep my house and the world fresh, clean, and clutter free!

A Tough Week

2010-01-23T09:04:00.000-08:00

Vibrant Erosion

Hawk on the Roof

Every Which Way But Loose

Keep it Flowing

There is one thing that is more disappointing and sad than a missed opportunity: No opportunity.

I am thinking about this today. This week's political upset in Massachusetts is a disappointment on several levels. I am most concerned with the impatience and frustration of the voters in this country. I feel their pain, but I'm not willing to let a republican relieve this pain, not after eight years of economic thumbscrews and evaporating opportunities. Do voters really believe that the political opportunism and sound bite thinking of Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh are the way to create opportunity and solutions to America's problems? Six years from now, will Massachusetts voters think that going backwards with Scott Brown and his beautiful, bare cosmo body is a solution?

Take it from a citizen of California, the state that elected the charismatic and body beautiful, Arnold Schwarzenegger in 2003, the answers are no, and no.

California voters bought into the governators "power to the people"/ "no new taxes" publicity stunts and watched as he and his corporate backers destroyed the vehicle license fee that would generate almost 40 billion dollars in revenue and balance the state budget. Fast forward six years, and California is bankrupt, missing the 40 billion that would have averted this disaster.

I don't blame the Schwarzenegger, or his corporate sponsors. They are predictable in their mission which is to make money for their shareholders and campaign contributors. They are consistent opportunists and whenever a problem arises, they politicize it, and try to score points for their side. There is no "public good" in their calculations. The "public" is the adversary. I see the ancient bones of feudalism and wealthy excess in these machinations. The rich get richer while the rest of us pay their way, grist for the mill, ...you get the picture.

So, citizen beware! And, last week the U.S. Supreme Court gave us citizens another opportunity to beware of corporate opportunism. Did you hear the one about the Supreme Court of the USA?

"The court ruled that corporations should be given the same right to free speech as people, which is — I mean, corporations are not people, and if they were people, they’d be real jerks." –Jimmy Kimmel

I'm not surprised at the outcome of Citizens United vs The FEC this week. This is just another reiteration of America's golden rule: "he who has the gold, rules."

The American public has an opportunity to regain balance and dignity over the next few years. President Obama has managed to slice off a few of Hydra's heads, despite getting bit by the ones he still needs to lop off. But, there is a long way to go to repair the damage caused by a sleepwalking populous and congressional partisanship. One year is not enough time to do magic and Obama and his team are not magicians. They need to be more present, to advertise, to spin, to spend money on convincing us that they have a plan and it's working.

Obama needs to recognize that we must hear the sane voices of productive leadership and those voices need to drown out the crazy wignuts that have gotten a choke hold on the public airwaves. And, it wouldn't hurt if the voices had faces like Barbi and Ken. Hmmm, maybe the President should pump iron, or bare all in Cosmo. Voters may be distracted from those annoying wars, bank failures, job losses, medical expenses, corporate bribery, and media propaganda if he flashes his washboard abs.

Making Soup

2010-01-19T15:15:00.000-08:00

It's cold and wet outside today, a perfect day for soup!

Just got a call that a meeting scheduled for Wednesday evening is called off because of the rain?! We are such fragile creatures. I look at the birds, even the dogs and cats, and rain/water does not deter them from responding to the genetic signals for survival.

I have always thought our brains often overrule good sense. Well... it's soup time.

Crisis

2010-01-13T12:25:00.001-08:00

God help Haiti.

Years ago, I had a traffic accident and discovered that I had allowed my auto insurance to lapse. My car was totalled and the police reported that I was the cause of the accident and liable for the damages. I had just remarried and did not want to tell my new husband about either of these bad mistakes. I told a good and very savvy friend of this problem, hoping she would have a slick solution for me.

"What should I do," I asked.

"Pray," she said.

At the time, her advice seemed almost cruel and sarcastic, but I accepted her words and later after much thought, I accepted that no one but me and God could solve this problem.

Yesterday, when I heard about the earthquake in Haiti, the press reported that President Obama's "... 'thoughts and prayers' were with the people of Haiti after it was struck by a major earthquake and pledged to come to their aid if needed."

"Thoughts and prayers!"

"What kind of lame response is this," I thought. I had the same feeling about this advice in response to overwhelming disaster as I did years ago when confronted with a crisis of my own.

I have since read the President's White House news conference comments which were much more specific and comforting. But, the hard truth is that in times of crisis, prayer delivers the hope, mental relief, and the strength that one needs to go on. It is the gulp of air needed to sustain that long swim back to shore. It is the match flame when the lights go out. It is peace in the midst of chaos. It is the first refuge of the afflicted. I pray that the suffering ends soon in Haiti, and I donate what I can to provide the tangible aid people need right now.

May all beings know love, peace and comfort.

The Shaft

2010-01-11T15:24:00.001-08:00

"America's corporate and political elites now form a regime of their own and they're privatizing democracy. All the benefits - the tax cuts, policies and rewards flow in one direction: up."

- Bill Moyers - Link to Analysis/Podcasts

There is no doubt that President Obama walked into a shyte storm on day one of his presidency. He was elected to counteract and counterbalance the eight years of Bush republican political dominance and be the new broom to sweep out the Bush appointed corporate shills infesting the cabinet level posts of almost every government department. That was my hope. However... with his appointment of Timothy Geithner to the Treasury and Lawrence Summers as Director of the National Economic Council at the outset of his presidency, my hopefulness was shaken. That tremor of doubt became a major rumbling of discontent and disbelief when Robert Gates was reappointed as Secretary of Defense.

The two major reasons I voted for Obama were to salvage America's economy and to stop the wars. Wasn't eight years of hell enough? Are we to let the engineers of America's economic destruction keep digging into the financial system until they come up with an even bigger shaft to shove us into?

Will we continue to believe the bloody lie that war on islamist countries will end terror? Why are we bombing terrorists in Iraq and Afghanistan. The terrorists that harmed us have/had visas - welcome to an open country! We should be sending troops to the State Department and the CIA to force people to do their jobs. Why issue visas and not enforce an efficient system to keep track of them? Terrorist attacks are all about visas not about body scans and jihads.

So, hope for reform of the united corporations of America is dimming. Hope for an end to America as the biggest and stupidest bully on the block is dying hard. Hope is rapidly transforming into a nightmare vision of the Wall Street rapists stripping us of every last shred of decency and then disposing of our flabby political will down a mine shaft filled with decomposing government regulations. There is no government, president, congress, or political party that can protect citizens from the contempt of the corporate and political elite. The only tool of any use to citizens is information and the corporate elite are ahead of us on that one since they own the public media.

The past year has shown that ordinary Americans cannot live with these disgraceful "titans of industry." Who wants to be subjected to their disrespect and manipulations while they gouge bonuses out of bailout money for their failures, jump us with usurious bank charges, hold back taxpayer money earmarked for taxpayers, and even more degrading, bribe our elected politicians (regardless of party) affilitation with bailout-provided campaign contributions. We either join them - everybody get rich ala Clinton's gogo 1990s or beat em - drive em offshore with crippling taxes and shun their asses.

Lost in the Zeros

2010-01-03T14:09:00.000-08:00

"Anything to say about the last ten years?" asked the stubby, short haired man.

He was trying to talk to the bank teller behind the bullet proof window in front of him. I saw his hopeful smile fade in the reflected window glare as I stood behind the rope, waiting for my turn. The teller couldn't hear him and even if she could, I doubt that she'd engage in witty banter while the rest of us twitch with impatience.

Mr. chatty was in his seventies, born and raised in an age of civility that fled America thirty years ago about the same time that the new and improved GI Joe action figures hit the toystores. The teller tried to appease him with a quick smile and efficiency, but he was one of those clueless geezers that refuses to be ignored. I watched her struggle to find the words to send him on his way with the minimum of human interaction and messiness and she did it in record time. He shook his head while slowly stuffing some twenties in his tiny leather wallet. Old fashioned never looked so disoriented and out of place, especially in one of the most stressful cities in in America.

This end-of-year banking interlude haunts me. Mr. chatty wanted/expected a bit of human interaction, and was frustrated with the security barriers erected to protect us and prevent an interruption in our sanitary and isolated lives. The Christmas day crotch bomber atrocity on Flight 253 increases our fear of suicidal maniacs and other such dangers. It is clear that the BushII years have made America "public enemy #1" among the world's haters. More useless barriers and obstacles are now in place, further limiting and frustrating us. Looking back on the past decade, one word seems to be the hallmark of this era: fear. Fear's ugly stepsister is hate and as decades go, the zeros are my most hated time.

Much of what happened during the zeros is disappointing, at best, and devastating at worst. On a scale of one to ten, I'd give the zeros a 2 - not even a so/so. It is saved from a "less than zero" rating by some very hopeful personal and family accomplishments, and by the current less conservative political trajectory.

Bruce Sterling says it all in his commentary in THE WELL's State of the World 2010.

"..,the polarity of the world is changing, literally and figuratively; the climate's wonky, the economy's tumbling like a house of cards in a demented wind, political will is weak and the body politic is disfigured in ways that are gross and fascinating. It's a circus, and the tent's on fire."

Comfort and Joy

2009-12-13T00:57:00.000-08:00

'Tis the season for family, friends, lights, singing, gifts, and gratitude. Love each other.

Trying to be Pleasant...

2009-12-08T01:49:00.001-08:00

Message in a Bottle

by Police

Just a castaway, an island lost at sea, oh
Another lonely day, with no one here but me, oh
More loneliness than any man could bear
Rescue me before I fall into despair, oh

I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah.....

....I'm listening to "Message in a Bottle" right now. Seems like an appropriate soundtrack for today's news.

Let's see what the news media and blogosphere have to tell us about climate change - gahhhh -apparently someone has hacked a British university studying climate change and uncovered some fraud. In the USA, the religious right is having a heyday discrediting decades of solid science and fundamental agreement on how humans impact the earth. This pimple on an otherwise umblemished record of research is supposed to convince the masses that they can continue to belch carbon into the atmosphere and gawd will bless them. Some anti scientists are again dredging up another heaping helping of "creationist" stew salted with opposing FSM propaganda. *sigh* Hey! The planet is getting hotter and humans have brains with which to cope with these changes. Let's adapt people! God and/or the flying spaghetti monster would want us to adapt. Please. I'm trying to remain pleasant and avoid discussing climate change and evolution with strangers, but sometimes I feel really mean and I want to chum the the conversational waters. Okay, okay... I'm under control until after the holidays.

Another newsworthy item is health care reform, passed by the House today and girding its loins to battle with the hoary headed monsters in the Senate. The big news is that Harry Reid gave the reform obstructionists a taste of their own bombastic rhetoric and guess what .... they are outraged. I'm trying to be fair and play nice, but when the Obama haters use the word slavery on a daily basis, why is a little payback from the democrats front page news. Right, right, this September, a republican lawmaker called the President a liar during his address to Congress and that was front page news, too. We'll see where this latest tempest in a teapot/teabag goes. It would be pleasant if both parties would stop the hate and debate issues not personalities.

And now for the saddest news, almost two hundred people were killed in Baghdad and Lahore, hundreds were almost killed but survived the bomb blasts. These once beautiful and productive places have become slaughter houses and examples that an invading force increases the violence. I do not understand Obama's strategy for the war in Afghanistan. It throws lives and money away and further weakens America's ability to regroup and survive our own tough times. The Lahore bloodshed is an example of the cost of escalation and the Baghdad slaughter is an example of the costs of de-escalation. Whether we stay or go, thousands will die. There is a reason why the world gave Obama a Nobel peace prize. Every nation but America sees the ultimate futility of continuing to wage these wars.

The Bush pre-emptive strike philosophy is an abject failure, one that Obama is supposed to mitigate not propagate. The USA pulverized two weakened, stone age countries in a quest to eliminate terrorists, but terrorists multiply with every American drone that destroys civilian houses and kill wedding guests. Unless we're sending 30,000 more soldiers to Afghanistan that speak the language and understand this tribal culture, more grunts add fuel to this fire.

So much hurt. So much despair and heartache. The world is what it is... a hard, often cruel, and beautiful place. It's my place and I am grateful that I am one of a small number of humans living in relative comfort and peace. I think I'll count my blessings today and look for hope in today's news. Hmmmm...

I am grateful that I am not alone in believing that all beings in this planet/place deserve a decent life. I am grateful that today, in Copenhagen, the world has come together to find a global solution to a global problem and that America is participating. I am grateful today that cancer deaths in the US continue to decline, I am grateful that the Obama administration is finally focusing on job creation and has extended unemployment benefits. I am grateful. The very least I can do is to express this gratitude and be pleasant and loving toward others. Be the joy that the world needs now. Be the compassion and balance that the world needs now. Do more to help others live well. Today is a good day. Life is good. I am blessed. (Say that three times, real fast.)

May all beings know love and peace.

A Strange Day

2009-11-28T13:47:00.001-08:00

Shopping Escalation- Media Center Mall - Burbank, CA

Maneki Neko- Media Center Mall - Burbank, CA

Christmas is a Ball -Kitchy Needlepoint Display - Sherman Oaks, CA

Giacometti Santas - Bashas Grocery Store - Sedona, AZ

"Artistically I am still a child with a whole life ahead of me to discover and create. I want something, but I won't know what it is until I succeed in doing it." - Alberto Giacometti

"Would you wait in front of Wallmart at four in the morning to bargain shop?"

This was the question I asked my sales associates yesterday morning and three out of five said, "yes!"

Lea tried to help me understand that bargain shopping in a frenzied crowd of strangers is thrilling, especially if one has a goal and meets it. All three of the avid bargain shoppers felt that black friday is especially good for families with children because toys are marked way down and the most trendy toys are always in short supply weeks later.

"It's like a tailgate party," she said, and I realized how far outside of the mainstream I really am since I don't like TG parties either.

Later that evening, I happened to channel surf to the Fox Movie Network and became fascinated with the movie, "The Ice Storm." I watched it before but never finished it because it seemed bleak. It is bleak, yet attractive and familiar. The opening scene is of a teenage boy on a commuter train which stops and goes dark. The boy seems unfazed and rather cheerful about this alarming event. He is not scared, nor does he express anything but a mild curiosity while he day or night dreams about superheros. Finally, the train starts up again, grinding through sharp ice and snowdrifts while the conductor yells out the status of the train and it's destination. The boy, Paul, seems relieved and intrigued. When he arrives at New Caanan, Connecticut, his family is waiting on the the snowy train platform - anxious to see him and Paul is pleased. This scene expresses Thanksgiving weekend fantasies of family togetherness, triumph over adversity and gratitude - as sweet and familiar as a black friday shopping coup.

This scene also closes the movie and Ang Lee very cleverly superimposes a frigid world of hurt over this picture, creating a lasting and more truthful impression of lives going off the rails. Bleak.

The bleakness combined with the idealized sweetness is kept in remarkable balance throughout this tough story by the wondrous cast, pacing, and cinematography. No one is in a hurry to tell their story. No one is consumed by fear or horror. Although much is made about the 1970s setting, it could be any time or place that has ignored the Bush "terror" media circus and paparazzi anal retentiveness. There is terror and bleakness and sadness and confusion and unhappy endings, but there is a refreshing absence of magnified whining. Everyone is quiet and thoughtful and elegant - even the losers. There is an absence of judgment - no talking heads to clutter up the mindspace with crap psychology or moralizing. There are no morals in this movie, really. Just people.

Let Us Give Thanks

2009-11-23T13:25:00.000-08:00

Going Desperado

2009-11-19T14:05:00.000-08:00

Dance Sheep Dance - Sculpture - Sedona, Arizona

"Desperado, why don't you come to your senses? You been out ridin' fences for so long now.
Oh, you're a hard one. I know that you got your reasons.
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow..."

Yesterday, I rushed into Ralphs supermarket to pick up some refreshments for a meeting that would begin in an hour, and I really didn’t have much of an idea of what to serve the group this time.

“Drat,” I thought. The parking lot was almost full and I parked in the hinterlands reassuring myself that I needed the brisk walk to the entrance.

As I grabbed my cart, I noticed that every fearful swine flu junkie was ahead of me, wiping down their carts, then their hands, causing a line to form before I even got to the front door. Grrrr! I finally muscled my way past the wet wipers and got inside the doors. A blast of air from above blew the bejeebus out of my hair and frosted my eyeballs as I careened past other blown-from-above shoppers toward the sliced fruit aisle.

It didn’t take long to snag some treats and other grocery staples for the house and I raced toward the checkout area. Just when I thought I'd made good time and would be on my way, I ran into a wall of surly shoppers. Only two cashiers were working, so I waited in a line which snaked past what looked like a card table.

“What a stupid place to put that thing,” I thought. It was right in the middle of the aisle where people maneuver their carts into clogged check out lanes. "No wonder check out is so slow."

I could see that others were pretty cranky about it, too. Once I looked at what was on the blasted table, I just shook my head. It was the Palin book, and not one person was tempted to give this obstacle more than a passing glare. Was it because of the inconvenient location, or was it because people are tired of the hype. There is such a thing as overexposure not to mention the concept that some things (or people) do not look so good upon close examination.

The overexposure of Mrs. Palin reminds me of my bar band days when I’d observe the desperate machinations of drunk and horny women in the clubs. The “look at me” frenzy was particularly acute just before the lights went on and the clubs closed. As soon as those lights went on, every flaw on their tired faces, every streak of mascara, every broken blood vessel in their sad eyes sent a warning to the shy, or unattractive, or unskilled men debating whether or not a roll in the hay with this nightclub goddess would result in disaster. Nine times out of ten, the unlucky goddesses would wind up driving themselves home and they’d be back the next night ready to do it all over again.

Desperation, thy name is Sarah.

Veterans History Project

2009-11-11T15:26:00.000-08:00

Feeling a Little Lost

Two Rosie the Riveters Reminisce

World War II Vets and Survivors

Veteran's History Project Luncheon - November 7, 2009 - Sedona, Arizona

"I know war as few other men now living know it, and nothing to me is more revolting. I have long advocated its complete abolition, as its very destructiveness on both friend and foe has rendered it useless as a method of settling international disputes." -General Douglas MacArthur

Many years ago, I sang in a rock and roll band. It was a "top 40" band formed by my husband who played bass and me. We travelled throughout the country and because of our strange schedule - sleeping during the day and working at night - we became used to isolation and loneliness. I should say that I became used to this twilight existence. As great as the band members were, I was the only woman and didn't quite fit in to the rock and roll lifestyle.

We had a six-week gig in Colorado Springs one fall. It was one of my better road memories because the club owner furnished fairly decent rooms and the city itself is spectacular. The club was closed on Sunday and everyone, except me, decided to go to Denver for some reason - another band was playing/partying... the drummer needed new sticks... someone needed something that we couldn't get in Colorado Springs... I was sick... don't really remember. Anyway, I stayed behind.

I went for a walk that morning and ran into the motel owner's daughter, Leslie. She gave me a ride into town and we had breakfast and shopped a little. I was grateful for her friendliness and we made plans to do more shopping in the future. As I was opening my motel room door, I noticed a man on an earth mover right behind the motel. He was scooping up debris next to a ditch and piling it up by the roadway. I went around the back and watched him work for a while. He was older, bundled up sporting a hat with ear flaps. Quite a sight, really. A chunky bit of determined man mastering a mechanized beast. I finished my cigarette and was just about to go back to my room, when he wheeled around and drove the beast to the vacant lot next to the motel.

He got down from the vehicle and stumbled a little. I noticed he was holding onto to the handrail as he walked toward me.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, just got a little cold out there. How's the room?" he said.

I guessed that he must be the motel owner and said nice things about the room and his daughter.

"Leslie's not my daughter, though," he said. "She's my sister's girl. Nora and I took over this place after I got back from the war and Leslie's helped out ever since she could walk."

He was closer now, and sat down on the bench to rest. I guessed that he must have been wounded in the war.

"Which war were you in," I asked.

"World War II. I was one of the first soldiers to Dachau. That's where I really got to know how to use an earth mover, only it wasn't earth we were moving. What a gawd awful place and the stink, the stink of that place. I saw things there that still give me nightmares. Sorry. I just can't talk about it, not ever. Well I gotta go." He got up, looking down, not meeting my eyes and walked to the front of the motel and into the office.

I felt chilled and sad for him. I had become used to isolation and lonliness, but not because something inside me was damaged or frozen. This man was a walking wound - trying to isolate his heart from his memories. Later I talked to his sister, Nora, and she was surprised that Billy even talked to me, especially about his war experiences.

"Billy has never spoken one word about what happened to him over there," she said. "He used to be so much fun before the war, but it hurt him, it really, really hurt him. He's just getting by these days. At least that's what I thought, but maybe he's getting over it, finally. That'd be nice."

The movies, documentaries, television stories of the war show the one-dimensional view of the concentration camps and battlegrounds. These grainy, black and white images give me nightmares. I know that Billy and those like him who survived a world unhinged by savagery and insanity live the nightmare. They still live the nightmare. As General MacArthur stated above, creating these nightmares in response to territorial or political threats is useless.

There must be an alternative, a less disastrous way, to protect and preserve our countries and ourselves. Economic prosperity, productivity, and love of life makes it easier to mitigate the pervading cancers of dominance and intolerance. But, when times are tough and I stand next to a person who thinks, acts and believes differently than I believe, I lose perspective. I focus on the external and I become afraid. Every individual contributes to the love of life or destruction of it. I fear the destruction caused by an ignorant or misguided person and group. The fear is what works against my own best interests.

When the world makes no sense, it is time to focus on simple truths. The most powerful four words in the world are: "live and let live." This sentence expresses the simplicity of survival and urges us to focus on life. Actions follow thought, and if the focus is living, I begin to realize that one cannot live alone, rather we all need each other to survive. To thrive in this world, I think that we must love each other and by seeing our own spirit and human potential in every person, the outer shell of identity and distance will not dominate our perceptions and cause conflict. The inner life of each person is where the action, the living, the thriving begins and that is where my connection is most profound. Realizing that all people are connected makes me want to keep up my end of the connection and keep up the positive flow of life force. Keeping positive may be all we can do today, and it takes work. This is good work and the little ripples of happy laughter, quiet togetherness, listening, speaking, caring travel the life force network and make it strong.

May all beings know love and peace.

On the Boulevard

2009-11-01T10:42:00.000-08:00

Stinkin Thinkin

2009-10-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

"Doing the Footwork"

"Making Strides"
ACS Discovery Shop - Sherman Oaks, CA

"Boobies in the Spotlight"
Hudson Playhouse - Hollywood, California

"Think Pink"
ACS Discovery Shop Sherman Oaks, CA

Three of my closest friends have survived breast cancer. Two of them chose to have double mastectomies and one had a lumpectomy. All three have been cancer free for over ten years. Early detection is critical. Another vital element of beating cancer is attitude. All of my friends value good mental health and prevention. A positive, victimless attitude seems to be the key to beating cancer and keeping it away.

Today, I met Tracy, a woman going through chemo for colon cancer. Three years ago, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, underwent aggressive treatment and seemed to have the disease on the run when her doctor discovered that she had colon cancer. She explained that it was rare for anyone to have two types of treatable cancer at the same time and she was finally completing chemo and radiation for both diseases. I met her while she was searching for sympathy cards, something beautiful to send a friend of hers. She had a surgical mask over her mouth to prevent others from contracting the bronchial infection she was struggling with.

"Oh boy," I thought. "This conversation is going to be a downer."

While we talked about her ordeal, I noticed that she was very matter-of-fact and informative about both diseases.

"I have enough drama in my life right now without manufacturing it. I appreciate your genuine interest and concern. It's lonely fighting cancer. Thank you for taking a minute and talking with me," she explained in response to my comments and questions. She was gracious.

I could tell she was getting tired and within minutes she bought some cards and colorful knick knacks and was out the door. I had anticipated a negative experience and received a needed lesson in hope. Faced with destruction, she was thoughtful enough to wear a face mask while sick, she was sensitive to my level of understanding of horror, and recognized that both of us would benefit from positive, hopeful and life affirming observations (i.e., lovely colors, the benefits of supporting programs that fight cancer, smiles). She was a ray of sunshine. I saw how she focused on the moment, how she cherished these seconds without pain and weakness, and I felt blessed to share them with her.

As desperate as it may seem to live moment to moment, I believe that this immediacy is what transcendence is all about. This moment is real and to go beyond our experiences, we need reality as a springboard. I realized that anticipating, second guessing, being defensive blocked my initial moments with Tracy. Because of Tracy's generous spirit, she found the words to connect with me and give me a real moment. Something to hold onto as I struggle beyond my limitations and obstacles. A real moment with a real person. What a gift!

May all beings know health and love!

Elephants in the Room...

2009-10-01T09:54:00.001-07:00

Wooden Smile - Bench, Avila Beach, California

" Ooops I Did it Again" - Robbie Conal Poster, Los Angeles, California

It Can't Happen Here - ICU Gallery, Los Angeles, California

Terror in the Southland - Mural, Los Angeles, California

Negative Elephant - Textile, Crafts and Folk Art Museum, Los Angeles, California

"A collective ego manifests the same characteristics as the personal ego, such as the need for conflict and enemies, the need for more, the need to be right against others who are wrong, and so on. Sooner or later the collective will come into conflict with other collectives, because it unconsciously seeks conflict and it needs opposition to define its boundary and thus its identity. Its members will then experience the suffering that inevitably comes in the wake of any ego-motivated action. At that point, they may wake up and realize that their collective has a strong element of insanity." - Eckhart Tolle, page 125, "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose"

There is a negative elephant sitting in my room right now. I closed my eyes the other night and wished it away. It's still here.

Of course it's still here. Where else would this giant mass of negativity go. I have fed it with my condemnation, watered it with my self pity, and cleaned up after it with my righteous judgments and blame. Like my jiggling backside, it's grown out of all proportion, dragging me down making me slow and unbearably self conscious. This is my comfort zone. I love it here with Ellie. She and I watch the news and bash those scheming blowhards on the political fringe.

"What is the deal with these loonies, E? They don't want universal health care or even better health care because they fear (fill in the blank). They hate and fear illegal immigrants because they steal our (fill in the blanks). They hate and fear me because I support Obama and (fill in the blank). They hate and fear (fill in the blanks) because (the Collective Ego Gone Wild)," I exhaust myself talking trash to Ellie - okay, okay, ranting to/with ME.

There are no loonies, unless I am a loonie. There is no collective ego gone wild unless I am that ego. There is no conflict unless I am that conflict. There is no (fill in the blanks with whatever we fear) unless I am that fear.

A while back, I worked as a department manager, supervising seven people. Two of the ladies hated each other. Both women were smart, skilled and classy. One was older and very loyal to me. The other was a young hottie and ambitious (i.e., she wanted my job). At least once a week, I'd referee a shouting match or pouting match and the negativity effected the entire department. Finally, I spoke to my boss about this situation.

"Two ladies in my department have a personality conflict and it's getting out of hand. What should I do to solve this problem, yadda, yadda, fumble, spew?" I was embarrassed to bring this problem to his attention because he tended to micro manage and criticize me whenever he had a spare moment.

"I wondered when you'd get a handle on this problem," he said. "What have you tried so far?" I was shocked at how reasonable he seemed and recounted several incidents and my attempts to diffuse the skirmishes.

"By the way, there is no such thing as a personality conflict. Personalities have nothing to do with this. This is an ego trip if ever I've seen it, and the biggest ego trip is yours. You tolerate this conflict and it's time to stop it. If you hadn't come to me today, I was going to step in and you will not like my solution, so I'll give you a week to turn this thing around. I'd suggest taking each lady to lunch or something non-threatening and lay down the law. I'll back you up, by the way, because one of them has already come to me complaining about you." He looked tired, and I left his office feeling as tired as he looked.

He was right. The conflict was all about ego. Both of us older ladies felt intimidated by the new, hottie on the block. I threw up protective barriers and roadblocks to counter her ambitions. She gave up direct approaches to breaking down the barriers and resorted to backstabbing and bad mouthing. Neither of us were able to focus on the work, the common good, and forge a connection. Once I took my ego (aka, fear) out of the picture, I was able to see past the conflict and recognize the talents of each of us. After some bumpy meetings, responsibilities and tasks were reassigned according to ability and willingness.

Truthfully, I was never able to enjoy my interactions with Ms. Hottie and she was barely able to pull in her claws around me, but we were able to do some good work together when we each focused on our purpose and recognized the necessity of cooperation.

My boss taught me a valuable lesson about ego and the harm it does to a team. The greatest harm was the "every woman for herself" disconnect. Now, after years of self-help and therapy, I see the value in namaste, recognizing and valuing the god in you and the god in me. In this example, had I looked past the facade and into the heart of both ladies, I'd have found the common bond of human need and spiritual connection.

My friend, the negative elephant, wants to obscure the importance of this bond. We feed my ego and our collective ego becomes filled with fear and confused conclusions based on impressions and opinions. We gather our "facts" and construct whatever facade or barrier we need to feel protected from chaos. I become more fragmented and disconnected from the source. I become embedded in a collective ego which is busy dredging up past disconnects and manufacturing future disasters. Because life is good, we realize a need to reconnect with "team humanity," strengthen connections, and clarify purpose. The universe keeps the source open, 24/7, so life just is and my ego dissolves in the flow.

Everything important is happening right now, and "right now" is fast moving. For some people, "right now" is surviving a tsunami. Right now, someone is writing a song. Someone else is ringing up a sales order. Another person is listening to the radio and hating Obama. That person's wife is watching Oprah and loving Dr. Oz. The wife's daughter is walking home from school, feeling lonely. That daughter's teacher is balancing his checkbook and rechecking his math. A person is sitting in a jail cell wondering if the sun is shining. I'm blogging, you're twittering, everyone feels the air moving inside them, everyone blinks, all beings absorb and emit energy. This energy is the connection. According to Tolle, ego unplugs us from this energy source and as we go backwards, we gravitate to other disconnected egos forming a collective whose purpose is to get bigger and more attractive to new disconnects. We all can read the quote above for a much more elegant description of this process.

So... how do I deal with negative Ellie? A wise person suggested that I recognize Ellie, or any negative thought, then let it go. Just let it go. Resistance is futile. Accept it. Do not embrace it, though. It is just a thought and here's the tricky part, judging a thought is ridiculous. Think about it. A thought is really just an impression, it is not reality, it is not good or bad. So, what is reality? For Tolle and many deep thinkers, reality is energy or life source and whatever keeps the source vibrant and flowing is real. Being conscious of life, expressing life, opening to life's lessons and joys is real.

Nothing Much to Say

2009-09-26T13:45:00.001-07:00

Young Tree by the Ocean Little Birds

“Art is the elimination of the unnecessary” - Pablo Picasso

When the Sun Comes Out

2009-09-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

Day Evening - Sculptures by Paul Manship, The Huntington Library, San Marino, California

The Wind and the Sun
A fable by Aesop

The Wind and the Sun were disputing which was the stronger. Suddenly they saw a traveller coming down the road, and the Sun said: "I see a way to decide our dispute. Whichever of us can cause that traveller to take off his cloak shall be regarded as the stronger. You begin."

So the Sun retired behind a cloud, and the Wind began to blow as hard as it could upon the traveller. But the harder he blew the more closely did the traveller wrap his cloak round him, till at last the Wind had to give in despair.

Then the Sun came out and shone in all his glory upon the traveller, who soon found it too hot to walk with his cloak on.

Kindness affects more than severity.

I've been thinking about kindness today. I know it's a good quality and necessary for happiness, but I sometimes feel afraid of kindness. It is an open door to a room filled with light, a place of comfort and warmth. Am I good enough to be in this place? If I inhabit this space will I be able to tolerate the coldness and darkness outside that door? If I am kind, will I attract super needy people who will suck my soul dry? Is it possible to empty my soul? And... the questions never end.

I guess my ambivalence comes from my experiences with needy and sometimes greedy people. A close relative is a recovering drug addict and is living a drug free, happier life now. If I focus on this moment and forget the past, he is a real source of joy, but sometimes I remember trying to be kind to him in his drug days and getting screwed. I always felt stupid and resentful when I'd give him something to help and he'd blow it. Then I'd see the lovable person inside the addict and determined not to give up on him. Over the years, I learned the difference between being a doormat and being kind. I learned to forgive others and myself. I learned to give freely, no strings attached and only when the giving is joyful, not resentful.

I know that kindness gives comfort and support to the person not to the behavior, and this is what I need to remember. So, I blogged the fear right out of myself today. My ramblings may not make much sense overall but writing certainly clarifies issues and makes me feel good.

May all beings know kindness - no strings attached.

Vertical Variations

2009-09-17T17:33:00.001-07:00

Windchimes - Napenthe, Big Sur, California

Ups and Downs - Wilshire Boulevard, Los Angeles, California

Sky Fence - Jerome, Arizona

Rusty Pilings - Avila Beach, California

Slice of Sea - Shell Beach, California

Little Black Dress

".., A poem, to my mind, creates visible or auditory forms for something which is invisible, which is the feeling, or the emotion, or the metaphysical content of the movement. Now it also may include action, but its attack is what I could call the "vertical" attack, and this may be a little bit clearer if you will contrast it to what I would call the "horizontal" attack of a drama, which is concerned with the development, let's say, within a very small situation from feeling to feeling." - Maya Deren, avante-garde filmaker, poet and choreographer

from the 1963 "Poetry and the Film: A Symposium"

At least three or four times a year, I try to take a spectacular photo of the full moon. I have a great camera with many megapixels worth of resolution, a good quality telephoto lens, and a tripod worthy of any pro photog. My efforts to express the inexpressible beauty of a glorious full moon are disappointing.

In my viewfinder, I see the silver gleam, the network of craters, those spidery impact lines, all of which are magnifed and breathtaking under the city lights. What shows up on my computer screen is often blurry, unfocused, overblown, missing the delicate aura and sharp clarity of this fascinating satellite. My vision of this rather ordinary and natural event is influenced by my feelings. How do I express the joyful sadness of a full moon?

Clown in the Moon
by Dylan Thomas

My tears are like the quiet drift
Of petals from some magic rose;
And all my grief flows from the rift
Of unremembered skies and snows.

I think, that if I touched the earth,
It would crumble;
It is so sad and beautiful,
So tremulously like a dream

Transparency

2009-09-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

Time Shadows

Buddy's Vantage Point

Shine On

Window of Hope

Show Me the Money

Today, the U.S. Supreme Court is hearing oral arguments in Citizens United v. the Federal Election Commission (FEC). This is a case that re-examines two previously decided cases {Austin v. Michigan Chamber of Commerce, 494 U.S. 652 (1990), and McConnell v. FEC, 540 U.S. 93 (2003)} which upheld the right of the government to ban corporate and union funding of election propaganda.

"This case will decide whether corporate wealth will be allowed to dominate our elections in years to come.” League of Women Voters, President, Mary G. Wilson

To be continued....

Willing to Change

2009-09-02T13:25:00.000-07:00

Contemplating Change - Media Center Mall, Burbank, California

Making Things Better - Sedona, Arizona

Contrasts - Tlaquepaque Arts & Crafts Village, Sedona, Arizona

Changing Patterns - Thousand Oaks, California

"I love 'how to's.' All the theory in the world is useless unless we know how to apply it and make a change." - Louise Hay, author, teacher

Post Traumatic Fire Storm Stress Syndrome...

2009-08-30T15:22:00.000-07:00

Smoky Morning Sun - Burbank, California

Red Dawn Silhouettes - Burbank, California

Time Out

Hazy Los Angeles - Griffith Park, Los Angeles, California

"..,19. What is the city's greatest secret?

I think the people of LA are its biggest secret. You have to live here for about two or three years before you realize that, if you look hard enough, you'll find lots of people who are generous and down to earth and smart and fun and who just make sense to you. But in the beginning, newbies tend to wind up at some awful club that makes them think, 'Who are these mutants and what the hell am I doing in this scary, scary city?'"
-- from 2004 LAist interview with Heather Havrilesky

"Just as Los Angeles pretends to be a suitable home for several million human beings, when it is, in truth, a horrible sprawling sham packed with overpriced stucco hovels on tiny tracts of land, a gigantic human mistake that demands resources pumped and trucked and shipped in from faraway places, so, too, does "Nurse Jackie" pretend to be a comedy (or a drama?) suitable for several million viewers, when it is, in truth, a disjointed, reckless sham packed with bewitching jokes, a wicked romp that ultimately goes nowhere. At the end of the season, Jackie is the same mysterious blank slate that she was at the beginning."
-- from Havrilesky's current article titled "Going Down in Flames"

What a difference five years makes. I agree with Havrilesky's first assessment in 2004. LA is not a comfortable or friendly city but it has its undeniable charms. I disagree but sympathize with her second compare/contrast crankiness. She's stretched the flaming metaphor from today's horrendous fire storms into the hinterlands of cable TV's wasteland. I can only surmise that she wants the nonsensical "Nurse Jackie" to self destruct for real by refusing Havrilesky's evacuation order.

Because Havrilesky continues to live in Eagle Rock - a neighborhood in northeastern Los Angeles, I'm convinced that she normally tolerates LA pretty well, but has succumbed to "post traumatic fire storm stress", a little known syndrome that afflicts everyone in the greater LA area on days like today. I'm feeling a little ptfsss myself.

When I get all ptfsssee, I remember my first end-of-summer fire season about twenty plus years ago. *sigh*.. cough, cough, gag..

My first husband and I arrived in Hollywood from the scorching desert of Phoenix, Arizona. We were both musicians and had exhausted the show band, road band, original band, bar band avenues from New York City, to Kansas City, to Denver, to Chicago, to Hawaii, to Seattle, to Vegas, and finally back to the old home town, Phoenix. The music business was such an exhilarating, tough, bitch no matter where or how we pursued it. Only one place remained that held out some hope of recognition and employment: Los Angeles.

We drove into Los Angeles and looked up at the smoggy sky, studded with bits of ash and grit. It brought tears to our eyes and a wheeze to my smoker's lungs. Back then, nothing would deter us from our creative delusions, erm.... destiny. We were young - we'd been everywhere. LA treated us no better and no worse than other big cities. It was a "why not."

We got a creepy apartment in Hollywood - on Argyle, and the husband/bass player was working in a nightclub with the "promise" of studio work to come. I had minimal typing skills which allowed me to work as a junior clerk/secretary in a small film company. Once in a while, I'd get a call for a paying gig, singing for weddings or backups. Our baby was farmed out eight hours a day to an in-home babysitter several blocks away, and we worked. We worked hard. We paid bills. We worked even harder and sometimes went to a party or a club together. We made a few friends, mostly musicians and minor film industry people. We fell into the LA industry scene where "promises" were made with firm handshakes and art was created "on spec" and "promoters" got their jingles, and/or demos, and/or creative projects for free. We fell into the hope of making money from art and we lived on the edge of the entertainment industry conveyor belt, eventually falling off and falling apart.

I took the baby, and quickly faced the reality of my dreams and illusions. A happy marriage? Crushed. Stardom? Shattered. Wealth? Let me just get my hand to my mouth, please. Do I want to move back home with Mom and Dad? I'm too old and proud. Can I claw my way back to a decent life in this place? I'm young, energetic and already clawing, so why not?

Over the years, the clawing has diminished and the reality checks have increased. Do I love LA? Sure, why not. It is a town with a few thriving industries that employ millions of hard working people. It is an industry town with fat paychecks and fat egos. The most important thing to understand, however, is that LA and most fast-paced urban centers belong to the young, energetic and hard working folk. People can yammer about natural disasters, belch out "it's not pretty" snobbery, whine about bad traffic, get righteous about bad air quality, sneer at car worship, and hide behind these negative smoke screens while they harbor the real reason they bash the big dog - it's overwhelming. People who live here have to be fearless. On a day like today, when over 30,000 acres of virgin and urban forest are burning to cinders and ash, I am overwhelmed by this place. I hate this feeling and the mental mechanisms I must use to maintain sanity, but by this time next week, the threat will be gone. I'll feel more in control of my life - free to move about the city without a mental seat belt.

Will I retire here in LaLa land? Hmmm. The older I get, the more I see the appeal of a calm, Pleasantville environment - not too hot, not too colorful, safe and predictable. I'm sure it's out there and when the time comes, I'll jump in my hybrid and find it. (Don't worry Austin, you won't see me migrate to your pristine oasis on the hellish Texas plains. I'll be looking for a nice place which includes nice people, please.)

Pleasantville's first-ever rainstorm]

Big Bob: Well, we're safe for now. Thank goodness we're in a bowling alley.

May all beings affected by wildfires know love and peace

Hump Day

2009-08-27T15:04:00.001-07:00

Don't Hump - Traveltown, Griffith Park Los Angeles, California

A Bird and the Bees - Gardens of the World, Thousand Oaks, California

Stuck in the Middle - Brand Park, Glendale, California

Downhill - Gardens of the World, Thousand Oaks, California

Mid-week is always a joyful time. As a child, getting to Wednesday was a slow climb and a slow downhill slide to the weekend. Teachers, homework, tests and cranky parents filled the entire week with freedom killing tasks and chores. Adults notice that Wednesday comes pretty fast and the weekends disappear even faster. Weeks are filled with freedom killing work, appointments, chores and tasks - more of them - making time stretch to its limits. What is time, anyway? I guess time is the hallmark of organization - making life orderly, maximizing opportunity and experience. Whoa! Way too philosophical for hump day...

...Let's take a "pause for the cause" and celebrate the humpdayness of it all. Hmmmm, anyone care to humpty?

Blue Monday

2009-08-24T09:42:00.000-07:00

Blue Monday Mural - Burbank, California

Blue View - Ragged Point, California

Chess Blues

Beyond the Blue Gate - Maui, Hawaii

Splashy - Sea World, San Diego, California

Fish Mosaic - Ventura, California

Compare and Contrast

2009-08-23T11:10:00.000-07:00

Overcast - San Francisco Harbor, San Francisco, CA

Glimpse of Sky - Market Street, San Francisco, CA

Crowd Control - The Embarcadero, San Francisco, CA

Sailing the Sparkle - San Diego Harbor, San Diego, CA

Boardwalk Silhouettes - Seaport Village, San Diego, CA

The Look - Seaport Village, San Diego, CA

Distortion

2009-08-12T09:10:00.000-07:00

Water Squared - Gardens of the World - Thousand Oaks, Calif.

The Distortion Within - Living Room Window

Hard Rock Cafe Lights - San Diego, California

Iconic Reflections - Eagle Rock, California

"It is impossible to calculate the moral mischief, if I may so express it, that mental lying has produced in society. When a man has so far corrupted and prostituted the chastity of his mind, as to subscribe his professional belief to things he does not believe, he has prepared himself for the commission of every other crime. He takes up the trade of a priest for the sake of gain, and, in order to qualify himself for that trade, he begins with a perjury. Can we conceive anything more destructive to morality than this?" - Thomas Paine, "The Age of Reason"

Sully Sums It Up...

2009-08-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

"Henry J. Waternoose: James, this company has been in my family for three generations. I would do anything to keep it from going under.

Sulley: So would I, sir.

Henry J. Waternoose: Say, I could use your help with something.

Sulley: Anything, sir.

Henry J. Waternoose: You see, we've recently hired some new recruits, and frankly, they're... um...

Sulley: Inexperienced?

Henry J. Waternoose: Oh, they stink!

Sulley: Uh-huh.

Henry J. Waternoose: I thought you could drop by the simulator tomorrow and give them a little scare demonstration, show them what it takes to be our top scarer.

Sulley: I'll start with the old Waternoose Jump-and-Growl. [Jumps and growls]

Henry J. Waternoose: [Startled] Oh! Ha ha! That's my boy.

- memorable quote from the movie "Monsters, Inc."

Am I scared about health care reform yet? Have the monsters done their jobs? Do I really understand what is in the health care reform bill, H.R.3200 America's Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009.

It's purpose is...

To provide affordable, quality health care for all Americans and reduce the growth in health care spending, and for other purposes. as introduced. It sets forth provisions governing health insurance plans and issuers, including:

(1) exempting grandfathered health insurance coverage from requirements of this Act;
(2) prohibiting preexisting condition exclusions;
(3) providing for guaranteed coverage to all individuals and employers and automatic renewal of coverage;
(4) prohibiting premium variances, except for reasons of age, area, or family enrollment; and
(5) prohibiting rescission of health insurance coverage without clear and convincing evidence of fraud. Requires qualified health benefits plans to provide essential benefits. Prohibits an essential benefits package from imposing any annual or lifetime coverage limits. Lists required covered services, including hospitalization, prescription drugs, mental health services, preventive services, maternity care, and children's dental, vision, and hearing services and equipment. Limits annual out-of-pocket expenses to $5,000 for an individual and $10,000 for a family. Establishes the Health Choices Administration as an independent agency to be headed by a Health Choices Commissioner. Establishes the Health Insurance Exchange within the Health Choices Administration in order to provide individuals and employers access to health insurance coverage choices, including a public health insurance option.

Requires the Commissioner to:
(1) contract with entities to offer health benefit plans through the Exchange to eligible individuals; and
(2) establish a risk-pooling mechanism for Exchange-participating health plans. Provides for an affordability premium credit and an affordability cost-sharing credit for low-income individuals and families participating in the Exchange. Requires employers to offer health benefits coverage to employees and make specified contributions towards such coverage or make contributions to the Exchange for employees obtaining coverage through the Exchange. Exempts businesses with payrolls below $250,000 from such requirement.

Amends the Internal Revenue Code to impose a tax on:
(1) an individual without coverage under a health benefits plan; and
(2) an employer that fails to satisfy health coverage participation requirements for an employee.

Imposes a surtax on individual modified adjusted gross income exceeding $350,000.

Amends title XVIII (Medicare) of the Social Security Act to revise provisions relating to payment, coverage, and access, including to:
(1) reduce payments to hospitals to account for excess re admissions;
(2) limit cost-sharing for Medicare Advantage beneficiaries;
(3) reduce the coverage gap under Medicare Part D (Voluntary Prescription Drug Benefit Program);
(4) provide for increased payment for primary health care services; and
(5) prohibit cost-sharing for covered preventive services.

Requires the Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS) to provide for the development of quality measures for the delivery of health care services in the United States. Establishes a Center for Comparative Effectiveness Research within the Agency for Health care Research and Quality, financed by a tax on accident and health insurance policies, to conduct and support health care services effectiveness research. Sets forth provisions to reduce health care fraud.

Amends title XIX (Medicaid) of the Social Security Act to:
(1) expand Medicaid eligibility for low-income individuals and families;
(2) require coverage of additional preventive services; and
(3) increase payments for primary care services.

Sets forth provisions relating to the health workforce, including:
(1) addressing health care workforce needs through loan repayment and training;
(2) establishing the Public Health Workforce Corps;
(3) addressing health care workforce diversity; and
(4) establishing the Advisory Committee on Health Workforce Evaluation and Assessment.

Sets forth provisions to:
(1) provide for prevention and wellness activities;
(2) establish the Center for Quality Improvement;
(3) establish the position of the Assistant Secretary for Health Information;
(4) revise the 340B drug discount program (a program limiting the cost of covered outpatient drugs to certain federal grantees);
(5) establish a school-based health care program; and
(6) establish a national medical device registry.

Erm... not as complicated as I thought.

So... looks like a pretty good bill. It provides insurance companies with a captive (i.e., every American) market so they can continue to rake in the profits, and it provides Americans with coverage that is affordable, sustainable and without pre-existing condition loopholes. I like the Center for Quality Improvement/wellness provisions that recognize the importance of preventative health care. I also like the government run insurance/health care plan to give Blue Cross/Kaiser some competition and make sure low income and desperately poor people are covered.

The bottom line is that catastrophic health problems caused by accidents, disease, etc., can be addressed making everyone healthier.

Now, how do I think this beast will grow? My advanced age and California location permit me to use experience as my guide.

Three big questions: 1) Should the government provide health care? I mean is this really something that I want my taxes to pay for, just like defense, infrastructure, energy, communications.... I see a pattern here. Me and my family already pay for social security, medicare, roads, waterways, phone and electric lines, military bases, things or projects that span the entire nation and benefit everyone; 2) Does the government do a good job with these responsibilities; and 3) Could/would private corporations do a better job? My responses are yes, yes and no.

I've lived through the Enron energy rape of California. The state still feels the repercussions of this debacle. Letting "for profit" corporations provide what utility companies provide was a mistake and has plunged this state into bankruptcy. That's right. Enron and those who supported the cracked brain idea of letting the fox into the chicken coop of public utilities without proper oversight began California's economic decline. Private companies will manipulate the "market" and increase profits. That is the nature of the beast. Insurance companies are part of this herd. Maybe the alpha males of this breed.

The federal government via HR 3200 is skating on thin ice with the health care industry. In a sense, the feds want to create a viable health care utility company - allowing reasonable profits but not at the expense of the consumer. The crafty herd of health care corporations see dwindling profits and are fighting tooth and nail to kill this bill. The millions they are pouring into attack ads could be better spent finding new products, services and markets to support and enhance a national health care system. In other words, innovate instead of enervate. So, my big complaint with the bill is that it delivers a captive market (ala Californians during the energy crisis) to corporations. The only thing in this bill that saves consumers from the ravages of corporate greed is the government-run insurance plan. Without this plan, we are screwed.

Okay, okay, Mr. bored websurfer who has stumbled on my lonely blog, I agree. What has the energy industry have to do with health care? I use them to illustrate the nature of the beast. They are not utilities. They exist to make profits.

A more appropriate example would be the homeowner insurance companies who abandoned California right after the Northridge earthquake (and Florida, after the latest hurricane). Yup. We went to renew our homeowner insurance in 1995, a year after this catastrophe and ... we were cancelled even though we did not file any claims or do anything but pay our premiums on time. Republic Ins. no longer sold homeowner insurance in California. So, what to do? The state had to come up with a government insurance plan from a pool of willing companies who would not sell direct but would sell via the state so that losses could be spread out evenly. That's right, the state of California had to fill the void with an adequate plan at a reasonable cost.

So, I predict that this bill will pass with a government-run insurance option. After a short time, the health care industry will manipulate markets, abandon clients when the chips are down, go off shore, whatever they need to do to maintain their current profit margin. Millions of Americans will be left in the lurch by the corporations. The federal government will step in with a single payer, Medicare-type plan for all. More neighborhood clinics will sprout up. Big hospitals will shrink, change, or go away. The doctor and nurse shortage will decline. Americans will be healthier. People will not have to worry about high policy premiums and/or choices about losing their homes or paying for catastrophic health care costs. Mental health statistics for Americans will improve. Businesses will be able to phase out crippling health care benefits and be able to compete with other nations that have national health care. Health care as a utility will evolve, along with all of the growing pains associated with growth. The insurance and pharmaceutical industries will find ways to expand into new products, services and markets. Will this process be painful and filled with controversy. Yup. Do I want it? Yes.

So, why not simply jump to a single payer plan right now? As many progressive pundits point out, America is owned by the corporations and no one wants to stampede this skittish herd. We need to pick off what we can to survive - create a win/win wherever possible and hope for the best.

Strange Worlds

2009-07-24T08:58:00.000-07:00

Craft and Folk Art Museum Los Angeles - Mithila Painting Exhibit

CAFAM - Assemblages Exhibit

CAFAM - Quirky Stuff

There are so many art treasure troves in the city of angeles. One of my favorites is the Craft and Folk Art Museum in a small store front right across from the La Brea Tar Pits on Wilshire Boulevard.

The "Ancient Gods and Modern Politics: Mithila Paintings" exhibit is a fascinating study of ancient Indian art infused with the conflicts and dangers of the modern world. Beautiful and thought provoking artworks!

The "Celestial Ash: Assemblages from Los Angeles" exhibit was like a stroll through another world, and a strange one at that. Modern icons and symbols are captured in weathered wooden shadow boxes, unworkable gadjets are featured with elegant presentations of nature, both human and botanical all of these seemingly homey and accessible jewels are displayed with intelligence and care. At first, I thought that I could probably do something like this - throw together a bunch of old stuff and new stuff and .... then I realized each assemblage tells a story and that the art is in the concept and careful selection of the world's discards to best express the idea. Each artist's viewpoint and style was clear and powerful in their art. I could see the thought and craft in what appears to be a casual presentation. The most intriguing exhibit is the Michael C. McMillen, "Asylum of Lost Thoughts" installation. My dreams are filled with these timeless and provocative images.

Heads Or Tails

2009-07-17T09:55:00.001-07:00

Shingleback Skink - Los Angeles Zoo

I've been trying to make sense out of today's news reports about "the house healthcare reform bill." The AP and Reuters press releases do not give the title of "the bill." None of the major newspapers give the title of the bill. The blogs blather on about a health care flow chart neglecting to mention the title or name of the legislation spawning this dissection.

Finally, about twenty minutes later, I sifted through the "health care legislation" results I googled and found an msnbc report featuring a letter to the House Ways and Means Committee from the AMA. The first sentence mentions the correct title of the legislation under consideration. It is called, H.R. 3200, the "America's Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009."

The title of this legislation is important to me because I can then access THOMAS or other government information sites and read the bill. US news organizations (press, television, radio, blogs) need to go back to communications 101: who, what, when, where and why. Americans need clarity and precision from the press about these important issues. It's not important for me to know that democrats or republicans have flow charts or like/don't like the bill. I need to know what is in the bill. Report that in the first paragraph. Make it clear what the bill contains. That's news. The political and partisan posturing should be reserved for the last paragraph, or the OpEd pages.

No one has time for reports on important news that presume people already know about the issue. Who can make heads or tails out of a report like this one...

"WASHINGTON, July 17 (Reuters) - A second U.S. House panel approved on Friday legislation to overhaul the $2.5 billion healthcare industry, but lawmakers were still struggling to find out how much it will cost and how to pay for it."

Sorry, Reuters, but this is useless garbage. One good thing this garbled mess did was make me so mad, I did my own research on "Friday legislation" and came up with something coherent and interesting....

"OpenCongress Summary: This is the House Democrats' big health care reform bill. Broadly, it seeks to expand health care coverage to the approximately 40 million Americans who are currently uninsured by lowering the cost of health care and making the system more efficient. To that end it includes a new government-run insurance plan to compete with the private companies, a requirement that all Americans have health insurance, a prohibition on denying coverage because of pre-existing conditions and, to pay for it all, a surtax on households with an income above $350,000. A more complete summary of the bill can be read here."

This summary is short, accurate and respectful of the reader. Mainstream media needs to be mindful that citizens need news not propaganda and we can smell the difference.

Coastal Wildlife

2009-07-13T12:11:00.000-07:00

Lizard on Blue - Ragged Point, California

King of the Road - Elephant Seal Viewing Area, Ragged Point, California

Seal Snuggle - Elephant Seal Viewing Area, Ragged Point, California

Edgar Allen Poe Moment - Elephant Seal Viewing Area, Ragged Point, California

Lake Tahoe & Environs

2009-07-09T13:47:00.000-07:00

Purple Blue - Big Sur, California

Let Me In - Elephant Seal Viewing Area, Ragged Point, California

Eagle Falls - South Lake Tahoe, California

Afternoon Reflections - Tahoe Keys, South Lake Tahoe, California

Sunset Red - Tahoe Keys, South Lake Tahoe, California

Lonely Tree - Heenan Lake, Monitor Pass, California

I've been to Lake Tahoe many times, and this year was the first time we drove over Monitor Pass. It connects with Highway 395 south (toward Bridgeport, Mammoth Lakes, Lone Pine - the backside of Yosemite and Sequoia national forests) and crosses the spine of the Sierra Nevada mountain range.

I never get tired of highway 395. Even though the single lane roads suck sometimes, seeing green meadows right below massive mountain peaks, some of which are over 13,000 feet (e.g., Tom Mountain ), make my heart sing. There is nothing like seeing the awe inspiring Mount Whitney, though. At over 14,500 feet, this gigantic mountain takes my breath away.

Lake Tahoe is fantastic and the drive over the Sierras onto 395 made the trip even better. I was a little worried about my semi-new Honda Civic Hybrid making the climb. It hugged the almost deserted road and had no problems at all. Take this ride if you love mountains and want to escape from the beaten path. You'll love it.

"Yosemite Valley, to me, is always a sunrise, a glitter of green and golden wonder in a vast edifice of stone and space." - Ansel Adams

California Central Coast, Plus

2009-07-08T14:07:00.000-07:00

Orchids of Napenthe, Big Sur, California

Twilight on Ragged Point, California

Lonely Rock, Ragged Point, California

Happy Hills of Big Sur, California

It's hard to believe that I travelled to San Luis Obispo, Cambria, Ragged Point, Sacramento and Lake Tahoe less than a month ago. California's coastline is magnificent. The variety of wildlife, especially birds, is awesome. Nature is abundant, fascinating and refreshing.

“Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain.” - Henry David Thoreau

California's Central Coast

2009-06-28T18:52:00.000-07:00

Fusias of California's Central Coast

The boardwalk in Avila Beach, California

Moonrise in Shell Beach, California

Morning View in Shell Beach, California

Our mid-June vacation along the California coast from Los Angeles to Big Sur was so much fun. We started out mid-week to avoid traffic on the highways and in the parks and we did the right thing. So peaceful and easy - no stress. It seemed that the farther away from LA we got, the more human we felt. Summertime and the livin is easy!

“for whatever we lose (like a you or a me) / it's always ourselves we find in the sea”
- E. E. Cummings

Island Fever

2009-05-28T12:34:00.000-07:00

Beautiful sunsets are just one reason to love Hawaii. According to a recent Gallup-Healthways survey...."Utah, Hawaii, and Wyoming top the nation in well-being in an analysis of more than 350,000 interviews conducted in 2008. Southern states West Virginia, Kentucky, and Mississippi have the lowest well-being ratings."

The interactive state map on the AHIP well being web site delivers very good demographic information. California isn't doing too bad in many areas. As time goes on and more surveys are processed, it will be interesting to see if anything changes in this well-being index.

Great, geeky stuff!!

Going Down...

2009-05-26T21:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I checked out flickr's "most interesting" photos - just glanced at them really and yawned, not once but several times. The cool factor for flickr is long gone.

I still love the interface which is very clean and user friendly, but much of the comment function is archaic and their "filter" and banning process is pretty devestating if someone has an ax to grind or you show a nipple or (fill in the blank). It is a great place for groups and has helped me learn about photography, but I really like DeviantArt and Renderosity for computer generated artwork resources. It's all good. Just dandy, really!

*sigh* I guess I feel a bit let-down about flickr's bigness(?) or sameness(?) or excessive HDRness(?) - Hmmmm... maybe flickr has not jumped the shark - maybe I've jumped the shark. Time to take some photos in a different neighborhood.

Vigilance

2009-05-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

Dark Days

2009-05-20T18:08:00.000-07:00

Holy Californication!

I did not participate in the latest California special election. The ballot measures failed this time and I see a trend coming where most ballot measures will fail in future.

Hardly anyone voted. In our defense, we did not vote because we're tired of our legislature and governor sloughing off the tough decisions to the ballot box. We're tired of our tax money going to pay for special elections and for the judicial defense or implementation of deformed and unworkable initiatives that thrive in this toxic wilderness. We're tired of the 2/3rd vote process that has spawned a do nothing legislature. We're disgusted with the results of Reaganomics and trickle down, terminator governance. I'm tired of the short sighted, clueless Californians that voted for these mediocre actors. Hey, these guys were/are actors! Someone directs them and it isn't the "people."

Californians shoulder one of the highest tax burdens in the USA and we are furious that these billions are not enough to put together a decent budget, one that does not have a multi billion dollar shortfall. It was this fury that ousted former gov, Grey Davis. Arnold pressed hard on this raw nerve.

".., he uttered the same lies about state government and proposed the same nostrums as many of his predecessors: Californians are overtaxed and underserved, the budget can be balanced by cutting waste, fraud and abuse, etc. Like everyone else who has made these claims, he never delivered on his promise.

His cut in the car tax cost the state $3.6 billion per year, making him directly responsible for pretty much all of today's $21-billion budget deficit." Michael Hiltzik - Los Angeles Times article, "Schwarzenegger Missed His Golden Opportunity.."

So, we're mad. So now what?

Crazy Flower

2009-05-16T14:49:00.001-07:00

Just got back from our local farmer's market and forgot to find out what this crazy flower is called. Pretty, if you like alien esque plants.

Spoke to two friends about the Bill Moyers interview with environmentalist, Daniel Goleman.

"Responsible consumption goes far beyond current notions of green," explains Goleman.

"..,Thanks to a growing field called Life Cycle Assessment (LCA), where you might see only ground peanuts and a glass jar, Goleman and many others now see the 1,959 discrete steps to make the jar alone — including all the energy and resources it uses along the way, and all it will use once it's thrown away. LCA documents the whole cost of a product by breaking it down into component parts and tracing them up the production line." PBS description.

My friends found Goleman and the other gentlemen in the interview interesting. They really like the idea of buying every day items that biodegrade and are kinder to the environment. I like the site, goodguide.com which Golemand recommended. Interesting but not really a new concept to me.

I remember supplementing my allowance as a kid by collecting bottles and cans and redeeming them for a few pennies. I also remember checking to see if a product was biodegradable. Apparently, environmental ideas are recycled too. Everything old is new again... RRR!

I Don't Want To See Those Pictures...

2009-05-14T17:35:00.000-07:00

...but I do want to see someone tell the truth about the torture that was authorized by my government against detainees in Abu Ghraib, again!

The issue is not whether the Bush administration authorized the illegal detention and torture of Iraqi civilians and others. Bush/Rumsfeld/Cheney and their lackeys readily admit to these acts. They authorized private corporations (CACI and Titan) to conduct the "interviews" and avoid oversight by the US military. Simply google Abu Ghraib and read the facts. (Here, I'll do it for you.)

Put those facts together and you will come to the conclusion that BushCorp broke US and international laws - many times. They lied to Congress and the American people about the Iraq threat to national security, before the invasion, and continue to lie to the country about Iraq, the war on terror, ... you name it, now. If they haven't outright lied about torture, corruption, incompetence, they've obscured the issues with some other "wedge" issues of no importance. They know the attention span of the American voter is short. They know we know they broke laws. We let them do it. We don't need horrifying pictures to prove that they are liars and law breakers. We already have enough evidence to support these claims. So?

We don't need no stinkin pictures. I say let the ACLU have them with the agreement that they will not be plastered all over the internet... erm, too late for that one. Wired and TED have already put together a gruesome torture gallery/slide show to make the point that torture happened. Despite the clean up at Abu G, prosecutions of ordinary soldiers, demotions, firings, lawsuits against CACI, and other legal proceedings, old Scratch aka Cheney is still frothing at the mouth about the "rightness" of torture on every lecture/media interview circuit that will let him through the door. Why, Dick? Go home. Clear some brush. Stifle yourself, already. (Hmmmm...Is it possible that his Halliburton pension took a hit and he's forced to open his creaky jaws and sing for his supper? Yeah... NOT.)

It's obvious Mr. Cheney has no respect for Obama and his power to investigate and prosecute. He and Limbaugh are pals propagating neocon myths and delusions while doing their best to make things worse. They have the judgment and conscience of spoiled 4-year olds without the salvation of being cute. I want them to go away so that real people with hearts and souls can hunker down and endure the shit storm they've caused. Will Obama/Pelosi step up to this miserable plate and investigate, charge and prosecute BushCorp? Or, ......

John Shaft: "Why don't you stop playing with yourself, Willy? You ain't gonna do SHIT! "
- memorable quote from the 1971 movie, "Shaft"

The Doldrums

2009-05-13T19:00:00.001-07:00

"Doldrums", pl. noun: A period of stagnation or slump. A period of depression or unhappy listlessness. Avoir le cafard, broyer du noir. De capa caída.

History
by Carol Ann Duffy

She woke up old at last, alone,
bones in a bed, not a tooth
in her head, half dead, shuffled
and limped downstairs
in the rag of her nightdress,
smelling of pee.

Slurped tea, stared
at her hand--twigs, stained gloves--
wheezed and coughed, pulled on
the coat that hung from a hook
on the door, lay on the sofa,
dozed, snored.

She was History.
She'd seen them ease him down
from the Cross, his mother gasping
for breath, as though his death
was a difficult birth, the soldiers spitting,
spears in the earth;

been there
when the fisherman swore he was back
from the dead; seen the basilicas rise
in Jerusalem, Constantinople, Sicily; watched
for a hundred years as the air of Rome
turned into stone;

witnessed the wars,
the bloody crusades, knew them by date
and by name, Bannockburn, Passchendaele,
Babi Yar, Vietnam. She'd heard the last words
of the martyrs burnt at the stake, the murderers
hung by the neck,

seen up-close
how the saint whistled and spat in the flames,
how the dictator strutting and stuttering film
blew out his brains, how the children waved
their little hands from the trains. She woke again,
cold, in the dark,

in the empty house.
Bricks through the window now, thieves
in the night. When they rang on her bell
there was nobody there; fresh graffiti sprayed
on her door, shit wrapped in a newspaper posted
onto the floor.

History beat me down this morning. It's depressing to realize how ignorant I am.

Last night, The Daily Show featured Jason Jones' visit to Arizona State University which hosted President Obama today. Jones went to ASU asking why the university was not giving Obama an honorary degree and the responses were too stupid to imagine. In one part of the interview, Jones' asked three frat rats if any president deserved an honorary degree from ASU and when the name Hamilton came up, all three agreed he deserved one. I recognize that Franklin and Hamilton were not presidents. I also recognize that ASU is in the heart of red neck, conservative McCain country, and a true desert wasteland for progressive, liberal politics. (I should know, I spent most of my childhood and teenhood in the Phoenix pressure cooker.)

And... for a moment I felt superior to the lunkheads featured in the Jones' satire until I tried to name all forty-four presidents (erm... 44, right?).

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

Arizona State Snubs Obama

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Economic Crisis

Political Humor

I must have had US history nightmares because I woke up this morning with an unhealthy obsession about the presidents. As soon as I heaved my bulk out of my Select Sleeper bed, I had to know their names. I read their biographies. I got curious about the many wars started and ended by our leaders. I was surprised to realize that when Andrew Jackson deregulated the banking industry, his successor, Martin Van Buren got to clean up the mess of the "panic of 1837." So much of what is happening today is a repetition of the mistakes made in the past.

My recent historical obsession started when I rented the HBO miniseries, "John Adams" which is a magnificent recreation of the terrifying years of American history from 1770 to 1826. It shows the harsh colonial life and "deglorifies" America's gritty roots. The most interesting aspect of this mini series is its coverage of the turmoil in France, England and Spain. The world was quaking and ripping apart at the seams. The "old world order" of kings and vassals was ending and America was a weak and fractured part of this chaos. America's growing pains were/are acute.

I saw another great historical series on PBS last week., "We Shall Remain." I am conflicted about the greatness of America. This country was created for white, Europeans and was successful in integrating these cultures into one nation. People of color were not included and were either exterminated or exploited. Grim stuff. I cringe when I hear patriots beat their chests about America being the greatest country in the world. It is a great country filled with wonderful people, but we are not delusional, folks. Bad shyte happened to a lot of good, disenfranchised people. The PBS series exposes the unfairness and cruelty of the American political philosophy of manifest destiny which considered the Indian tribes of the Americas and the black, labor force as less than human. The only way to look back and learn something is by suspending judgment and by sifting through facts. Fortunately, the history of native Americans is being rewritten and their truth is told in this sad, fascinating and painful television series.

The most fascinating segment was about the Shawnee leader, Tecumseh. I remembered reading a historical novel called "Panther in the Sky" years ago about the turbulent life and times of this great Indian war chief who tried to unite the tribes against their common enemy - American expansionism.

Despite our ignorance, history embraces us. It shakes us.

It holds up a mirror and asks the question, "Where are you going?"

And I have to say, the doldrums are pretty crowded these days. I'm here. Old lady, history, is here. The ASU frat rats are here. The ousted neo cons own the place. It's time to break out.

Mom Mosaic

2009-05-10T15:10:00.001-07:00

Inspired by Nature

2009-04-22T18:30:00.000-07:00

The path to Han-shan's place is laughable,

A path, but no sign of cart of horse,

Converging gorges - hard to trace their twists

Jumbled cliffs - unbelievably rugged.

A thousand grasses bend with dew, a hill of pines hums in the wind.

And now I've lost the shortcut home

Body asking shadow, how do you keep up?

-excerpt from "Cold Mountain" by Han Shan

A group of my friends and I finished reading the book, "Developing Intuition" by Shakti Gawain. We all realized the importance of intuition in our lives and one of the exercises we did together was the "grounding" exercise. Each of us talked about that which inspires us and that which grounds us. I chose nature in each case.

Some of my earliest memories involve walks in meadows, watching birds, being awestruck by a glorious sunrise, and feeling the sand shift as the ocean waves retreat. Green is one of the first colors I remember choosing in the crayon box. Watching clouds and finding stories within them is something I do today when I need a creative boost, or just want to "waste time."

My first love is a love of nature.

I Feel Yellow..

2009-04-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

There is something springy, special and happy about the color, yellow. Like a hungry bee, I'm attracted to yellow flowers. I love yellow silk scarves, yellow apples, yellow lights, yellow highlighters, stickies, phone books, bannanas, corn, baby chicks, rubber duckies, the sun as it rises and sets. I can't think of more things right now, but there are more "yellows" that I love.

Nature rarer uses Yellow
by Emily Dickinson

Nature rarer uses Yellow
Than another Hue.
Saves she all of that for Sunsets
Prodigal of Blue
Spending Scarlet, like a Woman
Yellow she affords
Only scantly and selectly
Like a Lover's Words

Something Nice

2009-03-18T00:31:00.000-07:00

Here are some refreshing reminders of how lucky we are to live on this earth. I am grateful for the people and organizations that explain and record fascinating and important moments on earth.

Visions of Earth 2008 - National Geographic
The National Geographic Channel on YouTube
Atmospheric Optics

Hubble Photos of Saturn - NatGeo
Page Museum - La Brea Tarpits
Architects of a New Dawn - Carlos Santana

Glacier National Park Webcams - NPS

Robbery of the Doormats

2009-03-17T08:56:00.000-07:00

"I suggest, you know, obviously, maybe they ought to be removed," Grassley said.

"But I would suggest the first thing that would make me feel a little bit better toward them if they'd follow the Japanese example and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say, I'm sorry, and then either do one of two things: resign or go commit suicide.
"And in the case of the Japanese, they usually commit suicide before they make any apology."

Grassley spokesman Casey Mills said the senator isn't calling for AIG executives to kill themselves, but said those who accept tax dollars and spend them on travel and bonuses do so irresponsibly."

Ermmmm.... I second that emotion!

I am holding back my rage with disappointment. Hey!!! Do something, Obama-Biden-Pelosi-Reid! We're hemorrhaging hope, here. Unless the Bush-Cheney gangs are held accountable for nurturing a complete disregard for the American people, more Bushite corporate losers will find a way to rise above their abject failures by giving themselves U.S. government ensured bonuses.

For the last eight, plus, years, corporations were king. Bush-appointed cabinet members and agency officials fostered an atmosphere of "look the other way," fox-in-the-henhouse oversight philosophies. With Alberto Gonzales as the incompetent head of the Justice Department and the anti-regulation republicans in complete control, American business ran itself... into the ground, taking the world economy with it.

I am not alone in feeling complete disgust at AIG's bonus outrage. I am not alone in expecting this behavior from corporate America. I am not alone in knowing that government is not going to protect us from these vipers. I am not alone is wondering how much we will have to suffer because the American public allowed six years of a republican majority in all three branches of this government. Any system which is out of balance causes problems, but I am mystified at the magnitude of the economic problem we're facing today.

I remember hearing my father talking about the Great Depression and how my grandmother hoarded everything of even minimal value in response to that disaster. I also remember learning about how that worldwide economic disaster spawned fascism, Hitler, WWII, the spread of communism, and Roosevelt's response, The New Deal. The specter of a repeat of this cycle of doom scares the bejeezus out of me but I can't image an appropriate response. So far, suggested solutions are grim and getting grimmer.

Even though the top economists worldwide say America needs to flood the economy with money, I don't see the flood working for us. Just like grandma, the banks seem to be hoarding.
I agree with James K. Galbraith's assessment, "A brief reflection on this history (e.g., the successes of The New Deal-my words) and present circumstances drives a plain conclusion: the full restoration of private credit will take a long time. It will follow, not precede, the restoration of sound private household finances. There is no way the project of resurrecting the economy by stuffing the banks with cash will work. Effective policy can only work the other way around. "
One may interpret his assessment to mean that whatever deficits government must acquire, they must be invested or spent on launching a huge jobs/public works program. Doing so will maintain household income and have the side effect of adding real worth and muscle to America's ailing infrastructure. Over time (a long time, some say), jobs will build viable consumers and an attractive nation in which to invest.
Is it time to nationalize the investment and banking industry? This seems really radical but this disaster is not only about a sub prime/finance crisis, it's about a crisis in trust and confidence. Right now, the FDIC can and will take over failing banks and if this arm of government proves to be competent and effective, it may be okay to let the system work without panicking.
It seems like a no brainer that Congress should quickly examine the role and effectiveness of the FTC and SEC. I don't know much about our financial systems, but even I know that the "experts" appointed or elected need to do better. In my humble opinion, the regulation of multi-firm (e.g., AIG) entities must be strengthened and the enforcement of existing SEC laws improved. Even though the Madoffs and Stanfords of Wall Street are finally prosecuted, it is astounding that they were allowed to damage so many people for so long. Why?
For the past eight plus years, there has been no fear of the justice department or other government regulatory entities. I think it is because the democrats have been too gutless to investigate and prosecute the most obvious rip off artists and deceivers, the Bush administration. I don't like the idea of wasting time and money on investigations and trials, but the snake won't die until we chop its head off. Gross, primitive, justice is needed to deter AIG-like callousness and Madoff-like greed.
I need to take personal responsibility for my part in this over extended, leveraged, bankrupt economy. Time to become better educated and more energetic when it comes to finances by starting local with my household budget and going global with a review of Obama's current budget proposal. Time to focus on reality and roll up the doormat. The only way to stop the ponzi schemers and government looters is to stop enabling them.

Bank Teller #1: Does this look like gub or gun?
Bank Teller #2: Gun. See?
But what does abt mean?
Virgil: It's act. A-C-T. Act natural. Please put fifty thousand dollars into this bag and act natural.
Bank Teller #1: Oh, I see. This is a holdup?
From the Woody Allen movie, "Take the Money and Run"