Past and Present Possibilities

When History Was New

American Ancients

Westward Ho!

Petroglyphs of the West

“Look back over the past, with its changing empires that rose and fell, and you can foresee the future too.”― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Another Christmas is gone and forgotten. Another year begins, and with it comes a rehashing of last year’s accomplishments, challenges, and lessons learned. How many inches of painful progress can I mark on my growth wall? What do I need to carry over into the new year, and what do I need to discard? Will my history repeat itself? I can answer that: yup. The days, weeks, months, and years are going by so fast that they stack up in disorderly chaos right about now, guaranteeing that I’ll never realize lessons learned until I jump off the merry-go-round and absorb experiences instead of plowing through them.

I’ve spent many holiday nights trying to remember when so and so went to the hospital, or went to jail, or got married, or had a heart attack, or broke one or more bones. Many of these gruesome flashbacks take over my dreams, and I wake up with choking bile and tears. There are memories of good times, and these flashbacks have me wondering about the date, year, location, and outcome rather than simply enjoying an accomplishment or blessing. I’ve felt down since November, lost in a maze of anxiety and confusion. History is supposedly written by the winners, and that’s what scares me.

It must be a happy accident that Matt Haig's The Life Impossible: A Novel was the first book I finished reading in 2025. The main character, Grace, is a 70-something retiree barely coping with past traumas who takes a giant leap out of her British doldrums into a magical, mystery tour of Ibiza, Spain. I relate to Grace’s fears and guilt which have caused her to sink into numbness and despondency. One passage in the chapter, A Boat Called No, reminds me of my perennial New Year’s resolution to lose weight, get fit, yadda yadda...

“My simmering disquiet about my own existence had always found its focus in my physical form. I had spent a lifetime hating my appearance in the present and then appreciating it in retrospect.”

Grace is forced to break out of the bleakness when a friend dies, leaving her with a house in Ibiza and a new beginning. The story continues with cranky Grace finding the comfort of math and mysticism while opening to the possibilities and opportunities of nature and the world. This is good stuff. The book presents a theory that living in a rut is a form of slow death, and it is better to take a leap into the terror and joy of an open mind and open road. 

Time, or something like it, moves on and it takes effort to move with it. My goal is to be open to the  wonder, energy, and light of life.  Be alive. Be well. Be happy. 

May all beings know love and peace throughout the new year🐝

Christmas Gifts to Treasure

Handmade Treasure

by Kathy Mackey

I slice open the gift’s wrap.

within the box below,

It’s a pinkish scarf, I think.

I don’t know.

It’s open weave,

short and wide,

holey like a doily.

At least she tried.

Do you like it?

Proudly she smiles

as I examine the present.

Love it! Such style!

I display the gift,

a crocheted curiosity.

It’s a testament

to girlhood generosity.

May all beings know love, peace and the magic of Christmas.

Once Again

It’s Happening Again

by Kathy Mackey

You sit in the vintage neon cafe

straight backed, anxious, defeated.

Two menus on your table. One water.

Waiting. Still not ready to order.

Your toe taps an impatient drumbeat

while you finger your cell phone

looking for messages, listening for ring tones,

scanning the street for him.

Onlookers notice your frenzy.

Why can’t he?

 

You are young, insecure, not beautiful.

The waitress, older, confident in her work,

prods you to order espresso and pear crostini.

She complements your china red nailpolish

lifting your cold, sweating hand, smiling

until she sees your eyes filling with tears

wounded, baffled, asking why -

why why why why why.

You lick wounds, fold napkins,

leave dollars on the table.

Button your coat. Wind your scarf

around burning neck and cheeks.

It’s happened again. Go,

hands in pockets. Walk out

into a frozen world of sleet and cruelty.

Today Is A Good Day

Three Card Spread

Hope Blooms Bright

Harmonious Flow

For the past few weeks, I've felt betrayed by nature. Our vehicles were infested with packrats in the engines, feasting on expensive wiring, setting us back financially, and causing us to devise crazy rituals to prevent further damage. Looking back, the most upsetting damage is to our complacency. We now commiserate with others who must keep their hoods up and the lights on to ward off the vicious chomping of ravenous rats (erm...sorry for the drama).

Not only have we been spending bucks battling the rat world, but other pests supposedly decided to infest our fragile home: termites. Our pest control inspector was tasked with discouraging rodents from entering our house and vehicles. While doing so, he "discovered" termite activity. We thought the company had dealt with costly termite activity about five years ago. By now, we've developed an expect-the-worse attitude and, despite some pointed questions, resigned ourselves  to this latest disaster and decided to spend over a thousand dollars to exterminate our latest adversary. 

So, yesterday the termite exterminator, Dylan, showed up. He managed to crawl under the house in two very tight places, drill into things, and carefully examine the outside foundation. 

"You don't have active termites and don't need today's treatment. Call the company and ask for a refund. You need to remove the wood and building materials under the house because it will attract subterranean termites in the future, but nothing today." And, with that honest and welcome assessment, we saved a lot of money and renewed our trust in humanity.  Thank you, Dylan!

Feeling rested this morning and looking forward to a good day filled with sunshine, I decided to check into the astral plane for guidance and reassurance. Today's three-spread Taro reading reinforced this rediscovered trust and acceptance of the good in our universe. I am reminded that the universe gives us more of what we focus on, and if that focus is to accept the worst, the most hurtful, and the gloom in life, expect more of it.  My angels and guides urge me to change my focus and put more creativity, balance, and love in the world.

• For the past insight, today I drew the Empress, who symbolizes nature, fertility, ease, and creativity.  I am reassured that life is abundant. Be grateful!
• For the present insight, today I drew Temperance, which acknowledges that I am dealing with a potentially volatile situation requiring serenity. Temperance encourages me to take action in resolving not resisting areas of my life that are out of balance.  I am guided to find a peaceful path. Be brave!
• For the future insight, today I drew the Lovers who symbolize relationships and decisions. It asks that I evaluate relationships with home, husband, family, finances, and contributions to the community in a mature, loving way. I am guided to make changes as I follow my heart's wisdom. Be loving and kind.

 

Love and Innocence

 

Young Hearts

- by Kathy Mackey

When fear and worry overwhelm

and I sit in darkness instead of light

just before paralysis and gloom

overtake me, I remember that night.

A childhood memory so innocent,

of two friends dancing with the moon,

capturing lightning bugs in our hands,

eating just ripe plums, early for June.

 

We climbed the dewy mulberry tree

hand over hand, high up the branches,

dangling dirty feet in the summer air,

laughing at danger, taking chances.

 

Moonglow, backyard shadows,

Fresh breezes, trees, green smells,

young hearts, unrestrained, exploring

feeling the pulse of life in all the world.

💕