Words and Intentions

“In the beginning was the Word. and the Word was with God, and the Word is God.”
- John 1:1 – The Bible

Crash! I bumped against a table in the dark living room and knocked over a small ornament which broke against the floor.

“My mother says you can’t come over anymore because you’re clumsy,” my friend explained.

I was four or five years old and that comment started a spiral of doubt and fear that persisted for months - an eternity in the life of a small child. During those months, I developed a reputation among the neighbor kids of being rambunctious and careless in their homes.

For a time, everywhere I went, I dreaded breaking things. This dread was almost a physical presence that went before me, knocking against fragile furniture, dumping figurines, blinding my eyes so I walked into walls and people. The situation became so terrible that I avoided visiting my best friend who lived in a house stripped of breakables and perfect for kids like me. I became a lonely and sad child and one day I asked my mother to explain the word, “clumsy.”

She gave me the dictionary definition of the word and I remember that it didn’t make any sense to me. I remember her face those many years ago and I know today, that she was aware of my reputation as a clutz and wanted me to change but she did not want to hurt my feelings. So, she explained that a clumsy person is not bad, but someone who needs to pay attention to what they do with their hands and feet. This is my first recollection of self awareness.

Because of her focus on awareness, I was able to train myself to walk slowly and hold my hands together in my friend’s houses. I avoided touching anything unless someone gave it to me. My losing streak diminished and my reputation improved. I was welcome in houses, again, but the effort to restrain my natural curiosity and energy was intense. To this day, I prefer uncluttered and spacious places and feel most comfortable in sturdy and indestructible environments.

I recall this time in my life because I am thinking about the power of words. The word, “clumsy”, delivered in such an unloving way, defined my young life. I was the word. It had negative power in my life and until I chose to understand the word and challenge its power, my losing streak or downward spiral continued.

Today, I read this:

"I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should 'take him out.' And 'take him out' can be a number of things, including kidnapping; there are a number of ways to take out a dictator from power besides killing him. I was misinterpreted by the AP [Associated Press], but that happens all the time."
- Pat Robertson, on his TV show, "The 700 Club"

Robertson has not yet learned the lesson I did when I was five years old. He knows about the power of words and the lessons of “mind over matter” but he persists in spreading the lie that words do not matter. Instead of taming his “wild mind” and speaking his word for good, he speaks his word on a worldwide television show for harm. His words unleash the power to harm. This is not right and no quibbling over semantics makes it right.

The hallmark of American political discussion in today’s “freedom fries”, pseudo-patriotic debate is a blatant disregard for the power of words. Bushisms, including the divisive “axis of evil” speech, Rumsfeld's, “old Europe” thoughtless toss-off, Karl Rove's smear campaigns. and Rush Limbaugh's barrage of logical fallacies create a filthy smog of deception and fear. Robertson is right at home in this environment and he knows he will not get any censure from the White House for his vicious words. Right now, the American spin machines are working overtime to dismiss, deride, and deny the impact of Robertson's latest blurt of hate.

When I hear these people speak thoughtless words of hate and violent intention, I feel that same downward pull into fear and self doubt that I experienced as a “clumsy” child. I know that if the careless words of a neighbor can cause harm, the malicious words of a world leader are a thousand times more damaging.

“The word is the most powerful tool you have as a human; it is the tool of magic. But like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you. One edge is the misuse of the word, which creates a living hell. The other edge is the impeccability of the word, which will only create beauty, love, and heaven on earth.”

- Don Miguel Ruiz from “The Four Agreements”