Monday, December 10

The Anaconda Effect

It has been a while since my husband and I ventured into the party scene - a long while. As I surveyed our sadly outdated party clothes, I made a short list of essentials for each of us.

My List:
Expensive top - low cut
Kicky, flirty skirt
New dress shoes
Spanx Bodyshaper(s)
Rejuvenating face mask/firming moisturizer

His List:
Suit (remove all junk from pockets and dryclean)
White shirt
New tie (hide his crappy bow tie)
New leather loafers or retrieve and polish old ones (hide his crappy hiking boots)
Mapquest directions to ET Holiday party

Sigh! A full week's worth of shopping, cleaning, primping, listening to him worry about the weather-coworker's who would not go to party-condition of car-comfort of his apparel - yaddayaddayadda. Once he was in his suit, he'd look fantastic. I, however, had to transition from frump to glamour girl in under three days and while I felt daunted and overwhelmed, those Friday nights watching "What Not To Wear" on the The Learning Channel gave me some good guidance. I'd find a two piece outfit, ruched in the front, with a bias cut or wrap tie, no horizontal stripes, rich tones and pointy shoes.

After I found a really nice outfit at Loehmann's, I realized that WNTW neglected to discuss solutions for those bulges and lumps which were disguised in the front but were obvious from the rear - I hate those dressing room mirrors. Hmmmm. I thought I had an undergarment or two that might take care of that problem, but I must have gotten rid of them and I couldn't find much in Macy's. The salesgirl suggested Spanx full body shaper hose (??) at Nordstrom's and off I went. I located the appropriate item that encased me in a steely band of spandex from just under my bust to my toes. It felt like I was swallowed by a hungry anaconda and I rejoiced at the sleekness while trying to keep my lungs from collapsing. What a goddsend!

On the night of the big bash, both of us looked transformed and handsome in our new/different duds. We drank too much (open bar, huzzah!!) and stayed seated most of the night, but enjoyed the Sunset Strip and a tiny bit of glamour. Now... on to the next bash and maybe I'll try the spanx hide-n-seek, strapless cami this weekend.