When the Sun Comes Out

Day Evening - Sculptures by Paul Manship, The Huntington Library, San Marino, California

The Wind and the Sun
A fable by Aesop

The Wind and the Sun were disputing which was the stronger. Suddenly they saw a traveller coming down the road, and the Sun said: "I see a way to decide our dispute. Whichever of us can cause that traveller to take off his cloak shall be regarded as the stronger. You begin."

So the Sun retired behind a cloud, and the Wind began to blow as hard as it could upon the traveller. But the harder he blew the more closely did the traveller wrap his cloak round him, till at last the Wind had to give in despair.

Then the Sun came out and shone in all his glory upon the traveller, who soon found it too hot to walk with his cloak on.

Kindness affects more than severity.

I've been thinking about kindness today. I know it's a good quality and necessary for happiness, but I sometimes feel afraid of kindness. It is an open door to a room filled with light, a place of comfort and warmth. Am I good enough to be in this place? If I inhabit this space will I be able to tolerate the coldness and darkness outside that door? If I am kind, will I attract super needy people who will suck my soul dry? Is it possible to empty my soul? And... the questions never end.

I guess my ambivalence comes from my experiences with needy and sometimes greedy people. A close relative is a recovering drug addict and is living a drug free, happier life now. If I focus on this moment and forget the past, he is a real source of joy, but sometimes I remember trying to be kind to him in his drug days and getting screwed. I always felt stupid and resentful when I'd give him something to help and he'd blow it. Then I'd see the lovable person inside the addict and determined not to give up on him. Over the years, I learned the difference between being a doormat and being kind. I learned to forgive others and myself. I learned to give freely, no strings attached and only when the giving is joyful, not resentful.

I know that kindness gives comfort and support to the person not to the behavior, and this is what I need to remember. So, I blogged the fear right out of myself today. My ramblings may not make much sense overall but writing certainly clarifies issues and makes me feel good.

May all beings know kindness - no strings attached.